One Road to Choose
by Lucy H
Summary: [Holby City] After Steve died, Diane made a different decision.
1. New Beginnings

"I'm coming up so you better get the party started…" Diane Lloyd sang out, as she wandered into the ward. Kath Fox smiled as she saw her – it had been so long since Diane had looked anything other than tearful.

"Happy?" she asked, trying to hide her smile by flicking through a patient's records.

"Yep," Diane replied, cheerfully. "Why wouldn't I be?" 

"The same reason you haven't been for the past month," Kath returned.

Diane shook her head. "I just realised how lucky I am." She began ticking off on her fingers. "I've got great friends. I love my job. Even if I'm having a little blip in my love life at the moment, it's going to get better. And I can't feel guilty about Steve forever."

"Feel guilty?" Kath repeated. "Why?"

Diane hesitated. "I dumped him the day before the crash." 

"Oh." Kath paused. "But, Diane, it's not your fault Steve died."

"I know. I just… I wasn't very nice to him before he died," Diane confessed.

"I'm sure he doesn't blame you," Kath replied. Her face had taken on a sad, drawn expression, and Diane mentally kicked herself.

"Sorry, Kath. I didn't mean to remind you of…" She trailed off, not sure if it was all right to mention Terry's name.

"It's fine." The approach of a wheelchair cut off Kath's reply. "Yes?"

The young girl pushing the chair replied. "Er, this is Jennifer Whitten. She's been transferred by her GP."

Kath glanced down the list of patients. "Yes, Mrs Whitten. You're in bed five." She began to wheel the woman over. "Are you a relation? Do you want to stay…?"

"Yes, yes, please," replied the girl. "I'm her daughter."

"It's okay, Josie, really. You don't have to stay with me," Mrs Whitten said, shaking her head. "She's _so_ overprotective," she said, in a loud whisper to Kath. "Just 'cause of this stupid body of mine."

"Mum!" Josie said, sharply. "My stepfather died just a few months ago," she told Kath. "And I'm all Mum's got left now."

Diane smiled. It was just the typical way of things at Holby City hospital.

*** ~ * ~ ***

"Diane?" 

A hand touched her shoulder, and, startled, she spat out the mouthful of hot coffee and dropped her cup. She whirled around to face the person who had done this to her. "Alex!"

Alex Adams tried to keep a straight face as he caught sight of Diane's expression, but it was impossible. She glared at him as he burst out laughing, but soon saw the humorous side, and joined in.

"Ugh," she sighed, after a few minutes, trying to scrub the coffee stain from her white shirt. "Why did I wear white?"

"It's not noticeable," Alex replied, unconvincingly, handing her a tissue.

"Thanks," she groaned. "I have a spare shirt… I think I should get changed." As she was leaving, she turned back to him, a flirtatious glint in her eye. "You owe me one cup of coffee."

Alex smiled. "When do you get off?"

"Nine," she replied, smiling. "Unless there's an emergency."

"Do you want to go out for a drink… coffee if you want?" he asked, knowing she wouldn't say no. It had been obvious for the past few weeks that she fancied him. Not that that was anything unusual – Alex often had women falling at his feet. However, he only ever dated a select portion of them.

Diane paused, deliberately making him wait. She wasn't going to let him have her easily. After what she considered to be a long enough pause, she replied. "Okay," she said, grinning. "I'll look forward to it."

*** ~ * ~ ***

Ric glanced up as Diane entered the room. He eyed her blouse. "Have you got changed?"

She smiled. "I had to. Alex Adams made me spill coffee."

Ric grimaced at the mention of Alex, who was not exactly his favourite person. Diane obviously didn't share his opinion, and frequently teased him about it. "I hope the wonderful Mr Adams apologised," was all he said, however.

"Yeah," she said, almost jumping in her excitement. "In fact, I have a date!"

Ric closed his eyes briefly. "God help me. You have a date with Alex Adams?"

"Yup," Diane replied, cheerfully. "And I hope you'll be happy for me, Ric. He…"

"Don't tell me," Ric interrupted. "I don't think I want to hear it." He paused, trying to dissuade Diane. "Wasn't it just last week that you were so distraught about Steve?"

Diane nodded. "But I can't feel guilty about him forever. It happened, and I… well, I just need to get over it."

"Although I don't like Mr Adams," Ric replied, "I'll try and be civil." When she put it like that, he couldn't dissuade her any more. It had hurt him to see her so upset over Steve, who had been buried the previous month, eight days after his death. She had felt so guilty about the fact that, just a week before his death, she had dated him, and dumped him the next day.

"Thanks, Ric!" Diane squealed, hugging him. Ric smiled, but pushed her away. He was conscious of enjoying the hug slightly too much. He freed himself, and went to find his patient list. Alex had stolen Sam, Jess, and his grandchild from him. Was he about to steal Diane too?

*** ~ * ~ ***

Tom Campbell-Gore strolled casually through the corridors of Holby City hospital, feeling good about his life. The day before, he had finished his sessions with a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist's words still rang in his ears. "You've done well, Tom." Like most, Tom Campbell-Gore was a man who valued praise. 

The only problem he had with his life was that he didn't have a girlfriend. Most men his age were married, had children, grandchildren even. He didn't. After strings of meaningless relationships, he had finally found a woman he liked. Anita. Just her name made him feel weak at the knees. And when he saw her, he had to work hard to keep his heart beating. But it wasn't just her looks – she was clever. A psychiatrist. She knew all about his alcoholism, and didn't judge him.

But there was a catch. She didn't feel the same way. Or, if she did, she wouldn't admit it. He couldn't deny that there was tension between them, but whether it was romantic, he couldn't say. The tension could have been caused by the fact that she had turned him down when he tried to kiss her.

But he couldn't think about that now. Right now, he had to deal with a heart valve replacement. Mrs – what was her name? Oh, it was Mrs Whitten, of course. 

And Ed Keating was helping. That was fine. Ed was a nice guy, given to being slightly foolish at times – that was why Chrissie Davis was living with her mother instead of her husband, and uncertain about whom the father of her unborn baby was. 

"Mrs Whitten?" he asked the patient, smiling. Make the patient feel at ease – that was his job. Well, that, and to keep them alive. He couldn't see her face – she was talking to a young girl of about twenty, probably her daughter.

"Yes… Jennifer Whitten. Jenn," the patient said, turning around. 

Tom paled, and the smile vanished. "Jenn?" he repeated, staring at her. 

"Tom…" She looked him in the eye, but dropped her gaze quickly. "Tom Campbell-Gore… my word. It's been a long time." 

"Twenty years or so. How – how are you?" he asked, sitting down, although all his instincts told him he should run away.

"I'm in a hospital bed, waiting for you to replace one of my heart valves," she replied. "I'm peachy."

"Yes, of – of course. Sorry." He looked at Josie. "So…?"

"Oh, yes. This is my daughter," she said, smiling at Josie. "Joanna. She's twenty."

"Nice to meet you," Tom replied.

Josie looked awkwardly from her mother to Tom. "Do you want to have some privacy, or…?"

"No, don't feel you have to leave," Tom told her.

"That's fine. I need to make a phone call anyway," Josie answered, getting up. Tom watched her walk away.

"So, ah, Jenn…" He paused. "This is where I usually explain what the operation entails, but… I suppose you know?"

"I went through medical school with you," she retorted, frostily. "And if I recall correctly, I came out higher than you, Tom. I know what a heart valve replacement is, yes."

Tom hesitated. "Would you be more comfortable with someone else performing the operation?"

"Someone I haven't been dumped by, you mean? I trust your _professional_ judgement, Tom."

"Meaning that you _don't_ trust my personal judgement?"

"If it hasn't changed in the last twenty years or so, then no I don't," she replied, annoyed.

"Fine. I'll see you in theatre," he said, getting up and walking away.

*** ~ * ~ ***

"So, whom are we chopping up last?" Diane asked, blandly. The shift had gone smoothly – no deaths, nothing even remotely critical. Diane and Ric were starting to feel complacent.

"Chopping up?" Ric repeated. "I really hope that isn't how you view my surgical skills. Or your own, for that matter."

"We-ell, now that you mention it…" Diane teased.

Ric glared at her, but dropped the pretence quickly. "To answer your question, it's a Clyde Baker – thirty, routine hernia op."

"How'd he do it?"

Ric looked at his notes, smirking. "You're not going to believe this…"

"Ooh, what?" she asked, immediately curious, grabbing the notes off him.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "There's such a thing as doctor-patient confidentiality, you know."

"And there's such a thing as curiosity," she replied, glancing down the paper. She squealed. "Oh my God!" she gasped, trying to hold in her laughter. "He got a hernia having sex? Is that even possible?"

"Shocking," Ric commented. "Still, we'd better go and talk to him – before we chop him up."

*** ~ * ~ ***

"Mrs Whitten?" Kath asked, as she approached the woman in the bed.

"Jenn… please."

"I've got to take some vitals," Kath replied, smiling. "Just to…"

"I was a doctor, I know what it's for," Jenn interrupted.

"Oh, sorry, I – I didn't realise."

"I'm surprised Tom hasn't told everyone," Jenn said, bitterly. 

"Mr Campbell-Gore?" 

"That's the one," Jenn answered. "If I had known _he_ was the surgeon, I would never have come here. Ironic, isn't it? He broke my heart, and now he has to perform surgery on my heart."

"You – you and Mr Campbell-Gore were, a, ah…?" 

"We were engaged," Jenn spat. "Then he decided he didn't want me. I was in love with him… he treated me like dirt." The hurt and sadness of twenty years ago had given place to anger and hatred.

"You can ask for another surgeon, you know," Kath said, tentatively.

"That would be letting _him_ win," Jenn replied venomously. "I trust his surgical skills." Her voice made it clear that she trusted nothing else. "It's his judgement I don't trust. If it is still today what it was twenty years ago, then I trust Adolf Hitler more than I trust Tom Campbell-Gore."

"What did he do to you?" Kath asked, curiosity overcoming her.

"It was three weeks before the wedding," Jenn began. "We'd bought a house together, and I was coming in one day, and I found him – in _our_ bed – with my bridesmaid. Juliette. And we broke up."

"Oh… I'm sorry," Kath said, awkwardly.

"It took me fifteen years to get over him," Jenn continued. "I married Harold just a few years ago. He died almost six months ago – we had such a short time together."

"I had a few _days_ with my husband," Kath said, softly. "He died just a week after our wedding. About six months ago."

"I'm sorry," Jenn replied. "It's hard, isn't it?"

"I hear it gets easier."

"I hope so."

"So do I."

*** ~ * ~ ***

"Mr Baker?" Ric asked, entering the cubicle where a man was seated in a bed. Next to him was a heavily pregnant woman, presumably his girlfriend. 

"Yes?" the man replied. "I'm Clyde Baker."

"I'm Ric Griffin, the consultant. This is Diane Lloyd, my registrar. We will be performing the operation," Ric explained. "It's a fairly straightforward procedure… I assume you've had it explained?"

"Yes, he has," the woman said. "I'm his girlfriend – fiancée, I mean. Kellie."

"Well, do you have any questions, Clyde?" Ric asked.

Clyde thought. "Are there any major risks? I have to be strong for Kellie and the baby," he added. "She's due next week, see."

"It's routine," Ric replied. "There are the usual risks of anaesthesia, obviously, but in all my years of operating, I've never lost a patient because of a hernia. Trust me."

"Okay," Clyde answered, smiling. 

"And congratulations," Ric added. "You're my first patient this June."

"June?" Diane repeated, paling. "It's June already?"

"Do you have a problem with June?" Ric asked her. "And stop staring," he hissed. Diane seemed transfixed by Kellie's stomach. She hurriedly averted her eyes.

"No-o," she faltered.

"Okay then, Clyde, we'll see you in theatre." Taking Diane's arm and practically pulling her out of the room, Ric faced her. "Right. What's the matter?"

"Huh?" Diane didn't seem to be aware of him.

"You were on cloud nine just half-an-hour ago, Diane. What's the matter?" he demanded. "You were fine until you heard it was June. Weren't you expecting June to come? It normally comes after May," he added, sarcastically.

"But… May _didn't_ come," she said, quietly.

Ric closed his eyes briefly. "What do you mean?"

"You know…" she trailed off. Ric was rapidly losing patience. 

"Diane, you're talking in riddles. I _don't_ know."

"The…" She paused. It was embarrassing enough to talk about this sort of thing with other women. To have to tell Ric, not only a man, but also a man she had been engaged to, was nothing short of excruciating. "My period."

"Oh." If the situation hadn't been so serious, Diane would have laughed at the look that appeared on Ric's face. "Maybe it's stress. With Steve and everything that's happened."

"I doubt it." 

"Why?"

"Because I've been being sick," she replied. "In the mornings. I thought it was just a hangover, but…"

"Oh." He paused. "Who, ah, who…?"

"Steve," she said, answering his unasked question. 

"Have you – done anything about it?" 

"No… I only just realised." Diane was now looking at the floor, trying not to let Ric see how close she was to crying. But he seemed to guess, and pulled her into an empty room. They sat down, side-by-side, on the bed. Suddenly she couldn't hold in her tears any more. So much had happened over the past weeks – she had seen Ben and Steve die, and now this. She hadn't let herself cry much – only for a few minutes. And crying was such a relief. She felt Ric take her in his arms, and she sobbed into his shoulder.

When the storm of tears was over, which wasn't for some minutes, she smiled weakly. "T-thanks."

"You ruined my suit," he replied, jokingly, looking sadly at the wet patch on his shoulder and chest.

"Sorry," she said, giving a weak laugh. "But you work at the Hadlington. You can afford a new one."

Ric nodded, deciding not to tell her that he'd only bought that one the previous week. "So…" he began.

"Yeah." She took a deep breath. "I'll go and see Owen or Mubbs after we've done this op."

"Are you sure you can operate?"

"'Course!" she replied. '_If Alex can operate when he has Parkinson's, then I can operate today_,' she thought to herself.

*** ~ * ~ ***

In theatre, it soon became obvious that the routine hernia operation was not going smoothly. Diane, recovered from her crying fit earlier, and Ric, no longer wearing the ruined suit, were having trouble with the repairing of the stomach. Clyde had an extreme tendency to bleed.

"There's a bleed," Diane said, unnecessarily, as a spurt of blood shot out. "Clamp."

The monitor began bleeping warningly. "BP's falling," the anaesthetist announced.

"Charge to one-eighty."

Nothing happened.

"C'mon, Clyde, don't give up on us," Ric begged. "Charge to three-sixty. Come on Clyde, you can do this."

It seemed that Clyde couldn't. After nearly ten minutes of trying, Ric was forced to give up. "Thank you, everybody," he said, softly. "Time of death, one-oh-eight."

After closing him up, and cleaning themselves up, Ric and Diane embarked on the unhappy task of telling Kellie, Clyde's fiancée.

"I'll do it," Ric offered. "Go and find Owen or Mubbs."

"No – I'd rather wait," replied Diane. "I – would you come with me, when I go?"

Ric smiled. "Of course." Then, solemnly, they made their way to see Kellie. She knew what they were going to say before they spoke.

"No. No." Running out of the waiting room, she began sobbing hysterically. By the time they had gone in search of her, she had disappeared.

*** ~ * ~ ***

"So… what's the deal with you and Mrs Whitten?" Ed asked Tom, as he made an incision.

"We were engaged – many years ago," Tom replied, trying to brush it off.

"And…?" 

"How do you even know that Jenn and I were together anyway?" Tom demanded.

"Chrissie heard Kath talking to her, and she wanted to know if I knew anything," Ed said. "It sounds like a big scandal."

"Ah yes… the wonderful Chrissie," Tom sighed. "And who are _you_ to pass judgement on _my_ love life? You still don't know if you're going to be a father or not."

"Yeah, but you know all about my scandalous love life," Ed replied. "I don't know about yours."

"Fine. Jenn and I were engaged, but three weeks before the wedding, she caught me with another woman," Tom said, resignedly. 

Ed laughed. "Who'd have thought it?"

"No, no, it gets worse," continued Tom. "The woman was her bridesmaid." Ed snorted with laughter. "And why _you_ find that funny I can't say… weren't you Owen's best man?" Ed sobered quickly. "Anyway… we broke up."

"How long ago was this?" 

"About twenty years ago," Tom replied. "It seems that Jenn can hold a grudge."

"For twenty years? Wow, you must've really hurt her," Ed commented.

"Thank you," Tom sighed. "We were together for ten years – since we were about eighteen. We went through medical school together."

"It looks like she got over you, though," Ed said, thoughtlessly. "I mean, that daughter of hers has to be about twenty." He smirked. "Hey, maybe you're a daddy!"

"Don't be ridiculous," snapped Tom. But, as he continued with the operation, he couldn't help but wonder if it were true.

*** ~ * ~ ***

As Diane and Ric were walking to Maternity, an old man came rushing up after them. "Doctor! Doctor Griffin!" he called, panicking.

"Ah… Malcolm?" Ric asked, hoping that it was the right name. He hadn't treated this particular man – he'd operated on his wife. But Malcolm was a nice man, although he did have a slight tendency to over-react. 

"There's a young lady in the corridor – she's collapsed," Malcolm announced.

"Okay," Ric replied. "Thanks, Malcolm. Where is she?" Malcolm pointed, and Ric and Diane raced off, to where a crowd had formed.

As they approached the woman, Diane gasped. "It's Kellie. Ric, it's Kellie."

She was right. Kellie lay there, unconscious and bleeding. "Is – is she…?" Diane didn't want to ask if she was alive or not.

"She's alive," Ric replied. "Just." He glanced up to the crowd. "What happened?"

"She was running, and she fell," a man answered. "She landed with such a crash. I think she hit her head – it's bleeding."

"We should get her to maternity," Ric decided. "Get the baby checked out. Then we can sort Kellie out. Page Owen, Diane, will you?"

"Okay." Diane fled, and was back in a few moments. "He says they'll be ready for her as soon as we get her there."

Within minutes, Kellie was on a stretcher, and was being rushed down to maternity. Owen met them, and immediately set up a scan. Diane shuddered at the thought that she would need that soon. Ric squeezed her hand supportively, and she smiled at him.

After looking at the image on the screen for a few moments, Owen spoke. "I think it would be best to perform a caesarean now. She seems to be full term."

"They said she was due next week," Diane corrected him.

"Fine," Owen said. "By performing a caesarean, we can ensure the baby's safety, and also, it will allow Kellie to have any treatment that she needs, without any excess risks. I'm guessing you'll want to do an X-ray? And can you stay on hand? That way, we can go straight on to making sure that Kellie is okay."

Ric nodded. "We can do that."

"Thank goodness. We're chronically under-staffed at the moment," Owen sighed. "What with Lisa leaving us for AAU, Julie being on maternity leave, and Ben… well. At the moment, there's only Mubbs and me. Our new midwife arrives next week, thank Heaven."

"Everyone's suffering at the moment," Ric commented. "There's only Jess and Lisa in AAU, since Steve…" He trailed off, looking at Diane. "And Danny left recently too…" Again, he realised the implications this had for Diane. _'Has she dated _everyone_ in this hospital?' _he thought, sighing. 

"What about the father? Do we know where he is?" Owen asked.

"He, ah, died earlier," explained Diane.

"Routine surgery," added Ric. "First time I've ever lost a hernia patient."

"Oh… I'm sorry." Owen wasn't sure what to say. Fortunately, whilst delivering a baby, there are not many opportunities for conversation. As Mubbs offered to take bets on whether the baby was a boy or a girl, the medical team prepared for surgery. Diane watched in interest as the caesarean was performed – she hadn't seen one done since she'd been a student, except on television.

"It's a girl!" announced Owen presently. 

"Damn," Mubbs cursed, realising that he now owed Ric ten pounds. Ric smirked. 

"Who wants the honour of closing up?" Owen offered. "No takers? Never mind." He quickly closed up, and proclaimed himself finished. "Done."

"We should get her X-rayed, then," Diane suggested, as Kellie was wheeled off, followed by Owen. She cast an interested look at Mubbs, who was holding the baby. "Can't say I ever pictured you with a baby."

"Want to hold her?" Mubbs asked. Diane backed away hurriedly, nearly crashing into Ric. Mubbs laughed. "She won't bite, you know."

"I – don't have much experience with babies," was all Diane trusted herself to say.

"It's not hard," Mubbs replied, advancing on her with the baby. Diane shot a panicked look at Ric, who simply smiled at her. "Go on."

"Fine." She sighed, and let Mubbs put the baby in her arms. "Wow… it's heavy."

"_She_," Ric corrected her.

"I've got to get back to a patient," Mubbs announced. "She's feeling particularly murderous." He smiled at Diane, who was now engrossed in the baby. "I'll be back soon."

Ric smiled proudly… Diane would make a terrific mother. She was a natural, rocking the baby gently with a little smile on her face.

*** ~ * ~ ***

Tom left theatre and was immediately accosted by Josie, Jenn's daughter – his daughter?

"How did it go?" Josie demanded. "Is Mum okay?"

"Your mother's fine," Tom replied, smiling. "It went quite smoothly, and she should be awake in about an hour – it went quicker than expected."

"Thank God," Josie breathed.

"Do – do you want to wait here, or in the waiting room?" he asked. Josie was currently in the corridor outside theatre.

"Erm… waiting room," Josie decided. "It's that room just off the ward, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes it is," he replied. "Do you want me to show you where it is?"

"Okay." Josie stood up, and they began walking. "So… how do you know Mum?"

"We… used to be engaged," Tom said. "A long time ago." He hoped that Jenn hadn't told Josie any of the details of their messy break-up.

"Are you the man who cheated on her with her bridesmaid?" Josie asked, suddenly.

_Hoping does no good then_. "Ye-es," he said, slowly.

Josie went pale. "Then – you…?" 

"What?"

"Don't you _know_?" she asked, in a whisper. "I always thought Mum told you and you were too much of a pig to do anything. She never even _told_ you?"

"What is this, Josie?" Tom asked, impatiently.

"Oh…" she said, softly. "Mum was heartbroken when you two split up. She didn't go out with another man until she met my stepfather – and that was about five years ago. You really ruined her life, Mr Campbell-Gore."

"I – I'm sorry," Tom said. "I – I didn't plan to do what I did, you know."

"I never thought you did," Josie replied. "And even more since I saw you. You don't seem to be that sort of person."

"Thank you."

"But… you – haven't you realised?" Josie asked, suddenly coming back to the original point of the discussion.

"Realised what?"

"Then you haven't," Josie decided. "If you had, you wouldn't be so – dismissive." She looked at him for a moment, and he looked back, suddenly realising what Josie meant. Ed had been right – "I'm your daughter," Josie announced. "You're my father."

*** ~ * ~ ***

"You're doing well with that baby," Ric commented, after a few minutes. 

Diane looked up, shocked. She'd forgotten that Ric was in the room. "Thanks," she said, blushing. "Do you want to hold her?"

"No, no, I'll let you carry on," Ric replied.

"I'll talk to Owen when he comes back," Diane promised, sitting down. Ric sat next to her.

"What are you going to do?" he asked. "If you're pregnant?"

"I… I really don't know." She looked down at the baby in her arms. "It would change my whole life."

"They do that," Ric agreed. "I didn't sleep for about a year after Jess was born."

"Are you trying to convince me to keep it?" Diane asked, smiling at his method.

"I'm just letting you know the facts." He sighed. "Jess has been through this, you know."

"Has she?" Diane racked her brains to try and remember. "When?"

"I think it was before you arrived," Ric mused. "Jess dated Alex. She found out that she was pregnant _after_ they split up. He was going out with Sam by then."

"Your Sam?" Diane asked, thoughtlessly.

"No, she was never _my_ Sam," Ric corrected her. "You were there, Diane." He paused. "But Alex forced Jess into having an abortion."

"No wonder you don't like him," Diane commented. 

"Let's steer clear of that subject," Ric decided. 

"So when it's an uncomfortable subject for _you_, we don't talk about it? Huh," Diane huffed.

"You started it!" Ric replied. He'd spoken a little too loudly, however, and the baby started crying. 

"Now look what you did," Diane scolded him, rocking the baby gently.

"Poor thing," Ric remarked.

"I hope you're talking about the baby."

"Don't worry, I am." He smiled to himself. 

*** ~ * ~ ***

"Jenn?" Jennifer opened her eyes weakly, only to shut them from the glare. Well, it was partly the glare, and partly the fact that Tom Campbell-Gore was staring at her.

"Uhh…"

"Mum?" Josie's head appeared.

"Jo…" Jenn mumbled. "Tom…"

"Are you awake, Jenn?" Tom asked.

"Uh huh." Jenn forced her eyes to open. 

Tom took a deep breath. "Jenn, Josie told me."

"What?" Jenn's voice became more alert. 

"I'm Josie's father, aren't I, Jenn?" Tom asked, deciding that 'yes' or 'no' questions would be easiest.

"Yuh…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.

Jenn tried to stay awake. "I… I didn't think you'd care… you were with Juliette…"

"He wasn't, Mum!" Josie assured her. "It was all a mistake – he told me."

"Mistake… huh!" Jenn's tone wasn't pleased.

"I'm sorry, Jenn." 

"Twenty years too late," Jenn retorted. "Get out."

"Mum!" Josie protested. "You can't mean that!"

"I can and I do," Jenn replied. "Get out, Tom."

Sighing, Tom left. Josie followed him. "I'm so sorry, Mr Campbell-Gore. I'm sure she doesn't mean it… the anaesthetic and all."

"I think she does, Josie," Tom replied. "Look, the truth is, our relationship wasn't perfect. Your mother knows that just as well as I do. My actions just made it official. Final. Doesn't it show something that she never contacted me in twenty years? She never once told me about you – my daughter! She wouldn't have done that if… well, if we were really in love."

Josie nodded, trying to keep the tears from falling. "But… can I keep in contact with you? Please?" she begged. "For twenty years I've wanted to meet my father."

Tom nodded. "Fine. I – I'd like to get to know you."

"You won't think that when you do know me," Josie laughed. "I – I spend too much money, and I listen to loud music, and I eat junk food, and watch too much TV."

"Then you're just like me," Tom replied.

*** ~ * ~ ***

Diane and Ric were still with the baby (now feeding it from a bottle) when Diane's neurologist friend, Ethan Hope, entered.

"Ethan? Why are you here?" Diane asked, confused. She turned to Ric. "We're in maternity, right?" Ric nodded, laughing.

"I could either tell you that I'm here to have a baby, or that I'm here to talk about your friend Kellie," Ethan replied.

"Kellie?" Ric repeated. "How is she?"

Ethan paused. "Well – the fall caused part of her skull to fracture." Diane winced. "A CT scan showed that part of the skull was pressing in on the brain. She suffered a brain haemorrhage… we couldn't do anything for her."

Realising what Ethan meant, Diane looked at the baby. "What about…?"

Ethan waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he prompted her. "About what?"

"The baby… Kellie just had a baby," Ric explained. "That one," he added, nodding towards the baby in Diane's arms.

"What about the father?"

"He died earlier today," Diane replied. She paused. "It's like a Greek tragedy, isn't it?"

"Any other family?" Ethan asked, sitting down. "Cute baby, by the way."

"She is, isn't she?" Diane said. 

"She's smitten – she's been holding her ever since she was born," Ric informed Ethan. "Nearly two hours." He stood up. "I'll find Owen."

"You'd make a good mother," Ethan commented, as Ric left the room. Diane froze. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Erm… no," Diane replied, trying to look normal. 

"Have you seen Mr Adams recently, Diane?" Ethan asked, ignoring the fact that she was blushing.

"Yes… this morning," she said, remembering. "And tonight," she added, beaming.

"Has he said anything to you?"

"Yes," she replied, hoping that Ethan would tell her more than she already knew.

"Good. I am glad he has someone to help him through this difficult time," was all that was said, however. Diane grimaced to herself, but pulled her face back to normal as Owen and Ric entered. 

"Got a friend, there, Diane?" Owen asked, smiling.

"Ethan," Diane replied. "We go way back."

Owen laughed. "I meant the baby."

"Oh yes… she's lovely," Diane said. "Poor thing." Owen nodded soberly. "I s'pose you want her back?" she asked, passing the baby over to Owen. "My arm's numb," she added, shaking her arm vigorously, causing Ric and Ethan to laugh.

"Poor girl doesn't even have a name," Ric commented. "No family that we know of, and she's not even two hours old."

Owen sighed. "I've never seen anything like this before. I'll call Social Services – and get this one another bottle," he added, looking at the empty bottle Ric was holding. 

"Social Services?" Diane repeated. "What's going to happen to her?" Ric shared her anxious look.

"She'll be put into care," Owen replied, as Ethan left. Diane looked horrified, so he hastened to continue. "It's not that bad, Diane. She'll be fostered until they find a member of her family, or until someone adopts her."

Diane nodded, sombrely, and watched as Owen left with the baby. "Bye."

Ric put an arm around her. "She'll be fine."

"I know."

Mubbs came in. "Well, I've delivered two babies today…" He looked around. "What did you do with the baby?"

"Owen's got her," Ric replied. "Kellie just died."

"Ohh…" Mubbs replied, grimacing. "Poor kid." He turned to go. "So, you taken up residence here? 'Cause last I checked, this hospital is desperately understaffed, and _you_ are always needed."

Diane and Ric laughed. "Actually… before we go, can I ask you something, Mubbs?" Diane asked.

"Sure." He turned back to them.

"Would you, ah…?" She paused. "I'm not sure how to say this. Okay… I think I'm pregnant, Mubbs. Can you – do something to see if I am?"

If Mubbs was shocked, he didn't show it. He simply nodded. "Okay. Come with me."

Diane stood up, and, turning to Ric, silently begged him to come with her. He smiled, and followed. Mubbs had soon got everything set up for a scan, and soon spoke. "Yep… there's the baby." He pointed.

"The blob?" Ric asked.

Mubbs laughed. "That's the normal reaction. Don't know why I'm telling _you_, though. You've got kids…" He realised that Diane hadn't spoken. "Diane?"

"Yeah…"

"Are you okay, Diane?" Ric queried her, concernedly.

"Fine. Thanks." 

"So… is this good news?" Mubbs questioned. "Should I be congratulating you?"

Diane thought for a moment. "Yeah. It's good news. Congratulate me," she added, laughing.

*** ~ * ~ ***

Tom was walking leisurely along, trying to process all that had happened, when he bumped into Anita – literally. He was too busy trying to pick up the papers she had dropped that he didn't even notice it _was_ Anita – until he saw the red shoes.

"Ah… hi," she said, awkwardly, taking the sheets of paper. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." 

There was a horrific pause – surely no pause was ever this long, Anita thought, desperately. "So… how've you been?" she asked, eventually. _What a stupid question!_

"Fine… yeah. Thanks. What about you?" he replied, flustered. 

"Pretty good, yeah." 

He took a deep breath. "Anita…" he began, just as she said "Tom…" They both laughed. "You go first," he offered.

"No, you," she replied.

"Okay." He took a breath again, and mentally prepared himself. "May I – see you?"

"I'm curious as to what you're doing now, then," Anita replied. '_Why'd you say that?' _a voice in her head asked. _'He's asking you out, you idiot!'_

"I mean… in a social sense." He closed his eyes and prepared himself for her 'no', which was surely just about to come.

"Yeah… okay." She smiled at the look of shock on his face. "That sounds nice."

*** ~ * ~ ***

"So, you're really happy about this?" Ric asked, as they walked back up to the ward.

Diane nodded. "Yes… well, as happy as I can be."

Alex walked past. "I'll find you in an hour or so," he commented to Diane, as they passed. 

She stopped. "Ah… Look, Alex, I still really want to do that, but not tonight, yeah?" She didn't feel up to it tonight. Tonight, all she cared about was being able to curl up in front of the TV with some chocolate. And besides, she didn't like the idea of going out and not drinking.

"Sure," he replied. "Why not?"

"I… I've just had a long day." She also didn't like the idea of having to explain her day to Alex. He was _nice_ and everything, and she fancied him, certainly, but having to tell him she was pregnant?

"Okay." Alex looked slightly hurt, as he began to walk away.

"I'm sorry, yeah?" Diane called after him, but he didn't acknowledge her. "Damn." She ran to catch up with Ric. "_That_ went well."

"Sorry," Ric offered.

"You're not."

"No, I'm not," he agreed. "I can't help it. It's a character flaw."

"Not liking Alex Adams?" she replied, almost laughing. They'd reached his office now, and she seated herself on the desk. 

"So, no plans for tonight, then?"

"Oh, I have a big date with a tub of ice-cream and the TV," she teased. "You?"

"Similar… only I get to watch Jess eat my ice-cream and watch my TV," he replied.

"I thought she had her own place?" Diane asked.

"She does," Ric said. "Not that you'd know it."

"Well, I can see the attraction," Diane commented. "If I had a dad who was rich and lived nearby, I wouldn't stay in my silent flat."

"When you had a boyfriend who was rich and lived nearby, you didn't stay in your flat," Ric remembered.

"That was a long time ago!" she replied, pushing him playfully. "And I was a student, I had no money."

"I had very little after you'd left," he retorted. Suddenly their heads were very close together.

"Be glad I didn't marry you. I'd have insisted on a _very_ expensive wedding." Suddenly she'd stood up. 

"I can imagine." Suddenly their lips met. 

And they weren't only remembering what had happened all those years ago – they were acting it out too.


	2. Forever And For Always

A few comments to start off with: Diane's cat is called Mitsy (pronounced Mitt-see) – it isn't a typo for Misty. I used to know a cat called Mitsy, and it's my favourite name for a cat. And also, the amount of times I spelt Diane's name wrong: either as "Dianne", or with an "s" instead of an "a", which my computer automatically corrects to "Disney"… lol!

And thanks for all your kind comments! You're all wonderful!

____________________________________________

Little recap: 

1) This is set 5 weeks after Steve's death. Everything is pretty much as it is now.

2) Diane found out that she is pregnant with Steve's baby. After spending much of the last story holding a newborn baby, she is happy.

3) Alex asked Diane out, she said yes, but later postponed the date when she found out she was pregnant. Alex was not happy.

4) Nothing has happened with Ed/Chrissie/Owen, except for Tom teasing Ed about Chrissie and the baby.

5) Tom found out that he has a twenty-year-old daughter. He also plucked up the courage to ask Anita out, and she said yes.

6) When we left off, Diane and Ric were reminiscing about their relationship, and ended up kissing in his office…

***~*~***

"Dad?" Jess called, wandering into Ric's office. She stopped short as she saw him with a woman. "Oops… okay, I'll, ah, I'll…"

Ric and Diane, blushing, broke away from one another. Jess, also blushing, was shocked to see Diane.

"Diane? Oh my God. Ah, I'll go… you two get back to… whatever it was… none of my business…" Jess stuttered, backing out of the room.

Ric turned around. "No, no… what, what was it?"

"You have lipstick on your cheek," Diane pointed out.

Ric rubbed his cheek slightly, and turned back to Jess.

"Ah, I just wanted to say, ah, I'm leaving now," Jess replied. "And I _was_ going to ask if I could come round tonight, but… I won't intrude, 'cause I'm sure you have better plans." She almost fled out of the room.

"Well, that was awkward," stated Ric. There was a silence. 

"We-ell…" Diane began.

"It looks like I don't have plans for tonight, then…" Ric said, leaving a heavy hint at the end of his sentence.

Diane smiled. "Yeah… why not? I might as well eat _your_ ice cream and watch _your_ TV." She paused. "Besides, it'd be nice to have company tonight. It's been a – stressful day."

"Okay." Smiling, Ric began to tidy his desk, getting ready to leave.

"And besides, I don't have my car," Diane continued. "I had to take the bus this morning."

"You always hated the bus," Ric remarked.

"I still do. So many people pushing into you!" As they were leaving, she paused. "Can we stop off at mine first?"

"Why?"

"Need to feed the cat," she replied. 

"I didn't know you had a cat," Ric commented.

"Mitsy," she said. "She's only a kitten, really. Six months old."

"Never would've thought of you as a cat person," Ric told her.

"I love cats," Diane replied. "Besides, I've always had some sort of pet – remember the fish?"

"You had about fifty," Ric remembered, laughing. "They were so boring."

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "I liked them."

"They lived ages, didn't they?"

"Not _ages_…"

***~*~***

"So… how've you been?" Anita asked, sitting awkwardly on a chair, clutching her glass of wine closely to her. She'd been pleased to note that Tom had chosen to have a glass of orange juice. She almost felt guilty about choosing wine, but it seemed the obvious choice – and wouldn't Tom have realised that she was only abstaining out of pity?

Tom was glad that Anita had chosen to have alcohol. To him, it showed that his alcoholism wasn't a big deal to her. He didn't know about the agonies she'd been having in her mind. Still, sitting in a bar, holding a glass of orange juice, in front of the woman he loved – or fancied, he wasn't quite sure – was slightly embarrassing.

"Ah… fine, thank you," he said. "I found out something interesting today, actually," he added. 

"Oh yeah? What's that?" she asked, politely. 

She probably couldn't care less, Tom thought. Never mind; it kept the conversation going. "One of my patients was an ex-girlfriend of mine – Jenn, we were engaged, pretty girl…"

"So this is how you act on a date, you praise your ex-girlfriends?" Anita queried. "Interesting technique."

Oops. "Anyway," Tom continued, pretending he hadn't heard Anita's interruption. "She had her daughter with her. Pretty girl too – she's twenty, called Joanna, but everyone calls her Josie – and apparently I'm her father."

"Congratulations… I guess…" Anita trailed off. "I'm sorry, just – you have a daughter who isn't quite eight years younger than me. It's a bit shocking."

"Shocking enough to make you want to leave?" Tom asked, leaning towards her. He could smell the wine on her breath – damned alcohol!

"I doubt anything would be." And, as she leaned in to kiss him, for the first time in months, alcohol could not have been further from Tom's mind. And when they arrived back at his flat, there was clearly only one thing on his mind – luckily, the same thing was the only thing she cared about at that moment.

***~*~***

The journey to Diane's flat passed quickly, and soon she was unlocking her door, and scooping up a small grey cat. "This is Mitsy," she said, showing her to Ric. "Meet Ric, Mitsy."

"Do you really think she can understand you?" Ric asked, incredulous.

"You used to talk all the time to that dog of yours!" Diane retorted. "What was his name?"

"Bruno?"

"Yeah. And Mits is a lot cleverer."

Ric shook his head. "Now, I can understand talking to a dog. Bruno's head was about as big as that thing's entire body – thus his brain was _much_ bigger." He leant against the counter as Diane scooped the cat food into Mitsy's dish.

"It's quality, not quantity," Diane laughed. "Now, see, your head is bigger than mine, but we _both_ know that I am a lot more clever." She put the dish and the cat down on the floor, and the one attacked the other.

Ric laughed. "That isn't true." 

"Want a drink?" Diane queried, opening the fridge.

"What do you have?"

Diane held up a selection of bottles. "Water, orange juice, lemonade, beer, white wine." She paused. "And now you're going to tell me to throw the beer and the wine out, aren't you?"

Ric laughed. "No, I'm going to tell you to give it to me."

"All of it?" Diane asked, gesturing for him to look in the fridge. An entire shelf was dedicated to alcohol. "I wouldn't drink all of it in one go, anyway."

"Why do you have so much?" Ric demanded, looking from the drink to Diane.

"I like a glass of wine in the evenings," Diane defended herself. "It helps me to sleep."

"And the beer…?"

"They had a special offer on at Sainsbury's," she replied, sheepishly. "I don't drink beer unless I'm out."

Ric laughed, and took the can of beer that she held out. He paused. "Wait. Is it cruel for me to drink in front of you?"

"No… do you plan on being teetotal for the next nine months?" She poured herself some water, and perched herself on the counter. Ric pulled up a chair, and sat down.

"So… how are you?" Ric asked, after a few minutes.

Diane seemed surprised at the question, but replied, nonetheless. "Fine, thanks."

"No, Diane – you're not," he replied. "Tell me."

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Considering that I'm pregnant, with no father for my baby because I decided to cruelly dump him the day after we slept together, and then failed at my job when he was depending on me for his _life_, I'm sitting –"

"Wait," Ric interrupted her. "Is that what you think? That you failed Steve?"

"I did, didn't I?" she replied. "I couldn't resuscitate him. I failed. It's my fault he died."

"No!" Ric exclaimed. "No, it is _not_ your fault."

"It is," she replied, and for the second time that day, she felt the tears coming. Stupid, she chided herself. She'd never cried this much before.

"I couldn't resuscitate him either. Does that mean I'm guilty?" Ric demanded. "Jess took him on a walk around the hospital – does that make _her_ guilty?"

"No… but I was – I couldn't stop him dying…" She sniffed. "I should've tried something else, I don't know, I should have…" The tears took possession of her now.

"You did _everything_ you could do, Diane," Ric said, firmly, hugging her. He let her cry in his arms for a little longer. "And I'm sure that it meant a lot to Steve that you were there." He swallowed to stop himself from crying.

"I doubt it." But she had quietened somewhat, and soon was calm enough to pull away from Ric, and ask, "Do you think he can see us?"

Ric paused, thinking. "I believe he can, yes. And I _don't_ believe that he would want you to be so upset. I think he would want you to be strong for the baby."

"The baby." It was just a statement, but it held so much meaning for Diane. She wandered into the living room, and sank into the sofa, turning on the TV. Ric followed her.

***~*~***

Jess threw her coat on the table as she entered her flat. She felt so lonely. Everyone seemed to have his or her own business to deal with. Her dad was always busy. Steve was gone – and that hurt so badly. Lisa, although she was getting better, was far from the confidante and friend that Steve had been. Sandy and Chrissie were nice enough, but each had her own problems. She didn't dare tell Diane too much, as she didn't know how much Ric – or worse, Alex – would find out. And as for Alex himself – it hurt more than Jess could put into words to see him flirting with Diane. She liked Diane, but it just seemed so unfair – Diane had everything, and she, Jess, had nothing. And now it seemed that Diane was making moves on Ric – again. So there was no one that she could trust. 

Sighing, Jess flopped onto her bed, and began to cry.

***~*~***

"This film is boring," Diane remarked, nearly an hour later. 

"Change the channel, then," Ric suggested. 

"Nah." She lay back on the sofa. "Too lazy."

Ric got up and turned off the TV. "Happy now?"

"Ecstatic." 

"I aim to please."

There was silence for a while, broken only by the sound of rain falling outside. Eventually, Diane spoke. "What's Jess going to say? It's going to be all round Holby by tomorrow, isn't it?"

"What are you saying?" Ric asked. "Other than the fact that Jess is a gossip."

"I'm saying that we should decide what we're going to tell people," Diane replied, softly.

"We should probably decide what we are going to tell ourselves first," Ric countered.

They normally had a fun, jokey relationship, but today, no one was laughing. This was deadly serious.

"So… what did it mean to you?" Diane queried.

"I…" Ric paused. "If I tell you, and it meant something different to you, would it hurt you? Or embarrass you? Or me?"

"I think I'm all cried out for today," she replied, smiling. "If you're going to hurt or embarrass me, then today's the day to do it." She paused. "But I'd rather you didn't."

Ric nodded. "I can imagine. Well… to me, it really did mean something. It reminded me of what we – used to have."

Diane opened her eyes, which she had closed to brace herself for disappointment. "Me too."

"So…"

"What now?" Diane finished the sentence for him. 

Ric stopped her. "Can I just ask one question? Why did you end it?" Off her look, he explained himself. "I want to know everything – we should make an informed decision. So why did you finish it? There were no flaws – not that _I_ could see, anyway."

Diane looked at him. "Ric, I was scared. I was twenty years old, I was still a student, and I was madly in love with you – and it terrified me."

"But that's not enough of a reason to break up over."

"No… no, it isn't," she replied. "I was stupid, Ric. See… my parents, they didn't have a very happy marriage. My dad used to hurt my mum, and she used to get drunk, and they would fight, and I would hide under the bed because I was scared and I'd look at a photo of them before they got married, because they looked so happy. My aunt always used to tell me that it was when they got married that things went wrong. And I – I suppose I associated marriage with hate, and violence, and everything my parents were. And when you asked me to marry you, I panicked."

"Did you really think that I'd ever hurt you?" Ric asked, gently.

"No – I didn't. But my mum, she'd always tell me to never let a man get too close to me, he'd just hurt me, like my dad had hurt her – and like he hurt me," she added, softly. "And when you hear that when you're five years old, you think it's true. Because when you're five years old, you believe everything your mum tells you. I wasn't scared of _you_ – I was just scared. Scared of us, of our relationship, of the fact that it was getting serious. I was feeling things I'd never felt before, and that's always scary."

Ric smiled. "It is… but we could have got through it together."

"I was stupid," Diane repeated. "And I've regretted it for eight years. You don't know how much it hurt when I came back and I saw you about to marry Sam."

"You helped me so much with Sam, though," Ric said. 

"I felt that it was wrong to – feel what I felt," Diane said, slowly. "And I thought that by helping you and Sam, I was making up for it. Do you understand?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Did I hurt you?" Diane asked, abruptly.

"More than anything in the world," he replied. "I loved you, Diane. You left me – with no real explanation."

"I'm sorry. But I was hurting too." She turned to face him. "Is it too late?"

He looked at her for what seemed like eternity. At last he spoke. "It's never too late."

**_FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS_**

_SHANIA TWAIN_

_In your arms I can still feel the way you   
want me when you hold me   
I can still hear the words you whispered   
when you told me   
I can stay right here forever in your arms   
  
And there ain't no way--   
I'm lettin' you go now   
And there ain't no way--   
and there ain't not how   
I'll never see that day....   
  
'Cause I'm keeping you   
forever and for always   
We will be together all of our day   
Wanna wake up every   
morning to your sweet face--always   
  
Mmm, baby   
In your heart--I can still hear   
a beat for every time you kiss me   
And when we're apart,   
I know how much you miss me   
I can feel your love for me in your heart   
  
And there ain't no way--   
I'm lettin' you go now   
And there ain't now way--   
and there ain't no how   
I'll never see that day....   
  
'Cause I'm keeping you   
forever and for always   
We will be together all of our day   
Wanna wake up every   
morning to your sweet face--always  
  
In your eyes I can still see   
the look of the one who really loves me   
I can still feel the way that you want   
The one who wouldn't put anything   
else in the world above me_

_I can still see love for me in your eyes  
  
And there ain't no way--   
I'm lettin' you go now   
And there ain't no way--   
and there ain't no how   
I'll never see that day....   
  
'Cause I'm keeping you   
forever and for always   
We will be together all of our day   
Wanna wake up every   
morning to your sweet face--always   
  
I'm keeping you forever and for always   
I'm in your arms___

***~*~***

Anita was sleeping peacefully, and Tom was watching her. He had never looked at her so closely before – he had always been afraid that she would see him staring. And, as he sat there, propped up on one elbow, staring at her, he knew that he was perfectly happy. He hoped that she felt the same way.

"You're beautiful," he whispered into the darkness.

"Thank you." Tom started as a sleepy voice replied to his comment. 

"Anita?"

"Who else are you keepin' in here?" she asked, drowsy but still sarcastic. "And thank you – in case you didn't realise it, it was me who said that."

"I didn't mean for you to hear it," he said, embarrassed.

She sat up. "Why not? It's a nice thing to hear."

"It's embarrassing to tell you."

"If it wasn't the small hours of the morning, I'd tell you what that shows about you as a person."

"Thank Heaven for the small hours of the morning," Tom retorted. "Do you always analyse the people you sleep with?"

"I'm still single, aren't I?" 

"Not if I can help it," Tom replied, kissing her.

"S'pose this isn't the right time to tell you that I've got an eight a.m. start, and should be going now?" Anita queried, politely.

"Oh." Tom drew back, disappointed.

"Only joking," she laughed, leaning in to kiss him. "Besides, even if I did, this is far more important."

***~*~***

"Diane?" Ric asked, sleepily, looking around. His only answer was the sound of retching from the bathroom. Groaning, he got up, yelping in surprise as his feet touched the wooden floor. "Who has cold floor at the side of their bed?" As he left the room, he noticed that the floor of Diane's side was covered in a rug. Huh!

"Diane? Are you okay?" he asked, entering the bathroom, where she was bent over the toilet, being sick. He held her hair back for a few minutes, and eventually, exhausted, she fell against him.

"Ugh." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry – I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Don't be silly." He stood up. "Come on. It's four o'clock, you need to get some sleep."

"I will, I promise." 

"Will you be all right for work tomorrow?" Ric queried.

"I'll be fine," she replied, sleepily, climbing into the bed. "It's cold."

"That's because you've been out of bed," Ric explained. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

"Yeah," she said, starting to get up again.

"Relax, I'll make you one." He pulled the covers over her, and left. He was back within seconds. "Where do you keep the tea?"

"Third cupboard from the door – oh, don't tread on Mitsy!" she added.

"I won't," he laughed. Within a few minutes, he'd returned with two cups of tea. "There you go. Milk, one sugar."

"Thanks." There was silence for a little while as they drank, the only sound made by the gulping and swallowing. "You make good tea," Diane commented.

"Thanks. But then, anything would be better than that weak watery stuff _you_ call tea," he teased her.

"Eee…" came a soft sound from the doorway, causing Ric to jump.

"Mitsy," Diane called, softly. "C'mere, Mitsy." Mitsy obediently climbed up onto the bed, and Diane smiled smugly. "See? I told you she understood me."

"She's only going to you because she associates you with mealtime," Ric retorted. Mitsy wandered across the bed, and Ric moved away, warily. "Does she sleep in the bed?"

"Do I have to choose between you?" Diane teased. "Bye-bye, then."

"No, I can cope," replied Ric, putting his mug down, and climbing into the bed. "'Night."

"'Night."

***~*~***

When Diane woke the next morning, she smiled as she noticed that Ric was still asleep, and that Mitsy was curled up next to his head on the pillow, watching him intently. It was a rare occasion that Mitsy saw anyone apart from Diane – she tended not to invite people back to her flat. Yawning, Diane got up, showered, dressed, did umpteen other things, then sat down and waited for Ric to wake.

After ten minutes or so, he began to stir. "Morning," Diane whispered, causing him to open his eyes. He shouted in shock when he saw Mitsy's green eyes staring at him, and Diane giggled.

"I was going to say good morning, but I don't feel like it anymore," he told her.

"So, did you sleep well?"

"Perfectly – except for your cat," he replied, shooting the cat a withering look. Mitsy simply yowled.

"We should get up, because my alarm didn't go off," Diane continued. "It's nine o'clock."

"Diane! We're meant to be in at nine-thirty!" Ric exclaimed.

"Relax, I'm sure Jess will explain," Diane assured him.

"Oh good, people will know that we were late because we were sleeping together!" 

"No, I rang Jess earlier and explained." She decided not to mention the photo she'd taken of Mitsy and Ric. "Besides, I'm all ready. If I make you some toast, you can eat it on the way… if you let me drive?"

"Let _you_ drive _my_ car? The way _you_ drive?"

"Well, if you want to be late…"

"Fine, fine. I'm going to take a shower."

"Don't use the pink towel!" she called after him. "I've left one out for you!"

Twenty minutes later, Diane kissed Mitsy goodbye, and they left, Ric munching his way through his second piece of toast. "Finished," he announced. "I'm driving," he added, snatching his keys from Diane.

***~*~***

"So…?" Jess hinted broadly at Ric and Diane, as they strolled into AAU.

"You owe me fifty pounds," Ric replied, holding out his hand.

"Is this a bet, or…?" Diane began.

"No, I lent her fifty pounds." He looked at his daughter. "No? Jess, you said you'd pay me back by the end of the week."

"I meant next week," Jess said, exchanging a look with Diane. "And you promised to tell me everything!"

Ric glared at Diane. "I might have done," she replied, sweetly. "And I might also have said that we were NOT going to let him know that I was going to tell you everything," she added pointedly to Jess.

"Oops." Jess looked round for an escape. "Ah, Lisa said that there was a patient… Lisa!" Upon seeing Lisa arrive, she fled.

Lisa walked over. "I've been hearing some stuff about you two," she began, grinning. 

"Great," Ric replied. "Now, then, the patients?"

"Oh, yeah. Mrs Garland…"

"Judy?" suggested Diane, smiling.

"Helen," Lisa corrected her. "Stomach pain, vomiting… Intestinal blockage, apparently."

Diane grimaced. "Ugh, vomiting. Don't remind me!"

Lisa glanced at her curiously, but said nothing. "Bed five. Over there," she added, pointing.

"Mrs Garland?" Ric asked the woman.

"Yes?" the woman turned to him. She looked about sixty. "Are you the doctor?"

"I'm Mr Griffin, the consultant. This is Diane Lloyd, my registrar."

"Now, I need a bed in a private room, I can't stay here," Mrs Garland said, as if Ric had not spoken. "It's bad enough that I'm in pain, but to have to be around all these – people…"

"This is going to be fun," Diane whispered to Ric.

"Mrs Garland, we'll try and sort something out in a moment. But firstly, I hear you've been experiencing pain?" Ric asked, politely.

"Yes. Stabbing pains in my stomach. Now then, about a private room…"

"Just a moment," Ric interrupted. "Let me feel."

"Goodness, no!" She was scandalised. "Surely you don't have to do that?"

"He does," Diane said. "Otherwise, we won't know what the problem is."

"Well, I'm not having a man touch me. Not even a medical man," Mrs Garland replied. "You do it, dear," this last to Diane.

"I…" She trailed off, looking at Ric, who nodded. "Okay. There's, ah, a lump in the small intestine… near the base."

"Right – thank you, Mrs Garland," Ric said, smiling, and he and Diane began to leave.

"Wait – about my room?" 

"Jess!" Ric called. Diane stifled a laugh. Jess came running up. "Mrs Garland would like to speak to you. Oh, and can you organise an ultrasound?"

"Okay. Yes, Mrs Garland?" Jess asked, as Ric and Diane left.

"You're horrible!" Diane accused him, as they walked up to Keller ward. 

"I've been hearing all sorts of things about you two," Kath confronted them as they walked through the doors.

"Like what?" Ric asked.

"You tell me," Kath countered.

Diane, smirking, leant against the desk to hear how Ric would answer.

"We-ell… if Jess told you, then you should believe nothing of what she said. What _actually_ happened was very mundane."

"Ahem!" Diane put in. "What was mundane about it?"

"You can tell your side in a moment," Ric said. "Just let me do some damage control for my unruly daughter."

Kath was growing impatient. "And…?"

"Sorry, Kath," Ric apologised. "It was _not_ mundane, then. Diane and I have had a long conversation, and have decided to try – being together."

"Congratulations!" Kath exclaimed, hugging both of them. "I _knew_ there was a reason that you were happy yesterday."

"No, this only happened last night," Diane corrected her. "Yesterday I was just… happy."

"Oh… well, I'm very happy for you, anyway," Kath said, smiling. "I hope you'll be happy together." She was sure that they would, in fact. Although she knew that they had dated and broken up a long time ago, they were both older and wiser now.

"I think we will," Diane replied, sharing a look with Ric that made Kath feel almost jealous.

"Well, I've got patients to see," Ric announced after a moment, and, kissing Diane, left. Sandy, standing nearby, scuttled over to hear the news.

"What's happening?"

"I've got a boyfriend," Diane smiled.

"Mr Griffin?"

"Yep." It was obvious that Sandy would have liked to ask more questions, but at that point, a patient called her. She left quickly.

"So, your life's going well?" Kath asked.

"Never been better," Diane laughed. She paused, debating whether or not to tell Kath about the baby. She decided to. She and Kath had become close recently. "And, ah, I want you to be one of the first to know. I'm pregnant."

"You _have_ been doing it all, haven't you? Congratulations, Diane," Kath smiled.

"Thank you," she replied, softly. "It's Steve's, of course. And Ric _does_ know," she added, forestalling Kath's next question. "But, well, can you keep it quiet for a few weeks? I'm happy about it, but I don't want the whole hospital congratulating me. I just want to tell you and Jess."

"I'm flattered," Kath commented. "When did you find out?"

"Yesterday. It was a busy day," she added, laughing.

***~*~***

"Tom?" Ed asked, abruptly, bursting into Tom's office.

"Yes?" Tom queried, humming. He was in an excellent mood. He and Anita had come into work together, and the memories of the previous night were still fresh in his mind.

"Wow, you're in a good mood."

"Did you want something other than to tell me that?"

"Yes, ah, Mrs Whitten, that woman…" 

"I know who Mrs Whitten is. Get on with it," Tom snapped, feeling his good mood evaporating. Jenn was not exactly his favourite subject.

"Sorry. She's arrested – they want her back in surgery, you're needed," Ed continued, handing Jenn's notes to Tom.

They bolted from the office.

***~*~***

"So, Mrs Garland, are you happy with this room?" Ric asked, as he prepared to make an incision in Mrs Garland's stomach. The ultrasound had shown that she had a blockage, just as Lisa and Diane had thought. Diane laughed at Ric's comment.

"Is she going to get a private room?" Diane queried.

"She's going up to Keller ward, and as she's not high-dependency, then she won't." 

"That looks painful," Diane commented, looking at the bulge in Mrs Garland's intestine. 

"I'll say." After Ric opened the intestine, he gestured to Diane. "Have a look at this."

"That's not just a blockage."

"It's a tumour. This might be more serious than we thought," Ric replied.

"Maybe she'll get her room now," Diane remarked. 

"It's not a joke," Ric chastised her, as he prepared to cut the tumour away.

***~*~***

"Well, we meet again, Jenn," Tom sighed. Jenn was on bypass already, and he was trying to discover what was wrong.

"So… did you speak to Josie?"

"Josie? You were right. Turns out she is my daughter," Tom replied, calmly. "Have you got any news on Chrissie?" he added, turning the tables completely. Chrissie had started her maternity leave the week before, as she had high blood pressure, and most of the staff thought it would be better for her to be in a less stressful environment. Chrissie herself had disagreed with this – she claimed that the environment of Holby City Hospital was more relaxing than spending all her time with Tricia, her mother. But everyone had agreed that she must not be allowed into work.

"Just a month to go now," Ed answered. "But she's not speaking to me unless she wants something. She wanted money yesterday – it seems she doesn't have anything for the baby yet."

"Did you give it to her?"

"I had to – Tricia was there," Ed replied, sheepishly. "I can stand up to Chrissie, but not to her mother."

"Looks like the valve's burst," Tom commented, looking at Jenn. "Stress, probably."

"Put another one in?" Ed queried.

"Yeah… you start, and I'll find out if Josie has been told anything."

"I can't start!" Ed exclaimed, scandalised. "I'm not qualified to do that."

"Get Alex Adams down here then," Tom replied, dismissively. "We can't afford to waste time. Someone page Mr Adams."

He stepped outside theatre, and looked around for Josie. He was nearly at Keller ward when he spotted Sandy. He grabbed hold of her. "You work on Keller, don't you?"

"Yes, Mr Campbell-Gore," Sandy replied, meekly.

"Is there a young girl there, she's about twenty, she came with Mrs Whitten yesterday?"

"Josie, you mean?" Sandy asked. "She's not here today."

"That's what I was afraid of."

"Is something the matter?"

"Jenn – Mrs Whitten – has had to be taken into theatre again. I'd like to get Josie down here." He sighed. He hoped that Josie hadn't parted with her mother on bad terms, because Jenn's condition wasn't looking good.

"I called her when Mrs Whitten was taken down to theatre," Sandy replied. "She should be here in about ten minutes."

Tom smiled. "Oh, thank Goodness! Well done, Sandy." 

Sandy smiled to herself. "Should I send her down here when she arrives?"

Tom considered. "No. Keep her in the visitor's room. Tell her I'll be up to see her soon." He paused. "And – tell her that it is quite serious, I'm afraid."

"Oh." Sandy's face fell. "That poor girl. Her stepfather died recently, too. And I don't think she ever knew her father – she's going to be all alone."

"No, she won't," answered Tom, firmly. "She met her father yesterday, and he won't let her be alone – not if anything happens to her mother." Something in Tom's voice made Sandy look at him oddly. He looked – almost as if HE was Josie's father. Surely that wasn't true?

***~*~***

"And we're done," Ric announced, dramatically. 

"You sound as if it's the first time you've ever operated," Diane commented, going to wash up. When she was done, she smiled. "I've got to go – I'll be back soon."

"Where are you going? Are you feeling sick? Should you lie down?"

Diane laughed. "I'm perfectly fine. I just have a few things to do."

"Such as…?" 

"You're too possessive," she replied, kissing him lightly. "I'll tell you later." She didn't think Ric would approve of any of the three things she was going to do. Firstly, she was going to collect the photo she had had developed of him, asleep, with Mitsy. Secondly, she was going to find Alex and apologise. And finally, she was going to talk to Jess.

But things didn't work in that order. Firstly, she almost walked straight into Alex as she left theatre. "Sorry," she said, embarrassed.

"About what? Walking into me, or cancelling on me?" he demanded.

"Both." She looked up at him – he was a lot taller than she was. "How are you? The Parkinson's?"

"Like you care."

"I do care, Alex!" she protested.

"Like hell you do," he retorted. "You couldn't care that much if you can cancel on me."

"I had a long day… I didn't feel up to it."

"Then how come you left with Ric?" he asked, angrily.

"Ah." How was she going to answer this one?

"Forget it," Alex snapped, storming off. And, although Diane knew that she shouldn't feel bad about it, she still did. Was it really wrong to feel like that?

***~*~***

"Jess, how busy are you?" Diane asked, coming into AAU.

"Depends. Are you asking, or is Dad?"

"I'm asking, and I've got gossip."

"Not busy at all," Jess decided. "Actually, I get off for lunch in about ten seconds," she added, looking at her watch. "I'm sure Lisa won't mind me going a bit early."

Lisa looked up. "I don't mind, as long as you tell me what the gossip is."

"She will," Diane replied. She dragged Jess into the office that used to belong to Steve, and now stood empty, and produced the photo she had just collected. "Look at this!"

Jess giggled. "Oh my God! Is that Dad?"

"That's your dad, and my cat Mitsy." Diane smiled. "Do you know that your dad doesn't like cats?"

"He's scared of them," Jess agreed. "And yet he slept in the same bed as one?"

"Well… she wasn't there at first. And I told him that if I had to choose between them, Mitsy would win," she added, laughing. "That made his mind up."

"So are you…?"

"We are." She paused. "And there's something else."

"About Dad? Because I don't want to know _too_ much, Diane," Jess said, grimacing. 

"No – it's not about Ric. It's… I don't know how you'll feel about it," Diane said, slowly. "I wanted you to be one of the first to know, though. I'm going to have a baby – Steve's baby."

Jess was silent for a moment. Then she spoke. "Oh my God! Congratulations! Really? You're really going to have his baby?" She hugged Diane. "Congratulations! Does Dad know?"

"Of course he does," Diane replied. "He was the first one I told. And – I'm so glad you're happy. I didn't know how you'd feel, because of Steve and everything."

"I'm thrilled!" Jess laughed suddenly. "You know, if this all goes well, that baby could be my step-brother or sister. Hey! You'd be my stepmother!"

Diane giggled. "I think we're getting a little bit ahead of ourselves here." Her pager beeped. "I've got to go – tell Lisa everything, but NOT about the baby, please." She'd run off before Jess even had time to reply. 

***~*~***

Tom marched back into theatre, desperately hoping that Jenn was stable. But Ed's face was enough to tell him. "I'm sorry, Tom."

"Tell me you're having a joke in _very_ bad taste," Tom said, his voice shaking.

"I wouldn't… I'm so sorry, Tom."

"Where's Adams?" Tom demanded. "Don't tell me he didn't come."

"He did come…" Ed said, slowly. "He – his hand twitched, and it went wrong."

"Josie… oh my God, Josie!" Tom exclaimed, going to look at Jenn's silent body. "Poor Josie. Why didn't I send someone else to find her? Why did I leave Adams in charge? Where did he go?"

"I'm not sure. I heard him talking to Diane outside after he'd left. It sounded as though they were having some sort of argument."

"I can't think about that," Tom decided. "I have to see Josie. She's alone now."

"At least she's got you, though, hey?" Ed reassured him.

"Yes, the man who broke her mother's heart and then caused her death. That won't be a comfort to Josie, Ed. But thank you." Sighing, he walked dejectedly out of theatre, changed, and went to find his daughter.

To his surprise, when he got to the visitors' room, he found Josie talking to Anita. They'd obviously introduced themselves, and they were laughing about something. He just hoped it wasn't him. "Josie, Anita."

"Tom, hi," Anita greeted him. 

"Mr Campbell-Gore! How's Mum?" Josie asked, eagerly.

"I – I'm sorry, Josie." The look on her face was unbearable, and, instinctively, he held out his arms. Just as instinctively, she threw herself into them, crying. 

***~*~***

"Why'd you beep me?" Diane asked, entering Ric's office.

"Got a present for you," he replied. "Well, two really."

"Ooh, I could get used to this."

"Firstly – flowers," he said, handing her a bunch of flowers. 

"Thank you," she smiled, taking them. 

"And secondly – Owen sent down a Polaroid of Kellie's baby. I thought you might like it," Ric said, gently, handing her the picture.

Diane took it eagerly. "Thank you." She looked at it. "I told Jess and Kath about the baby, by the way."

"Was Jess all right about it?"

"She was fine. Thrilled, actually," she added. "She was thrilled. I think she's more excited than I am."

"And are you feeling okay?" Ric asked, concernedly.

"Yep. In fact, I'm more than fine. Everything's perfect."


	3. With You All The Time

Thanks again for the comments! You're all so kind!

____________________________________________

Little recap: 

1) Diane and Ric are an item.

2) Diane is pregnant with Steve's baby. Only Ric, Jess, Mubbs, and Kath know. Jess is thrilled.

3) Tom has discovered that he has a daughter named Josie. 

4) Alex has quarrelled with Diane, after causing a patient's death because of his tremor. The patient was Josie's mum, Jenn.

5) Tom and Anita are an item.

6) Chrissie is on maternity leave, and lives with Tricia. She only speaks to Ed if she needs something.

Totally random facts that may or may not have relevance in the rest of the story:

1) Ric is scared of cats, but is trying to put up with Diane's kitten Mitsy.

2) Diane has taken a photo of Ric when he was asleep, with the cat looking at him. 

3) Anita is only eight years older than Tom's daughter. 

4) Ric is 21 years older than Diane (This is actually true. Hugh Quarshie is 21 years older than Patricia Potter, anyway. She's 28, and he's 49)

5) Jess owes Ric fifty pounds.

6) Diane used to keep fish. Ric used to have a dog that was called Bruno. Ric didn't like the fish, and Diane didn't like the dog.

Now then… on with the story!

***~*~***

Ric sat up in bed automatically as he heard the door open. "Diane?"

"I'm fine," she called. "Just need a drink."

Ric lay back down. When she'd got up during the night during the last week, she'd been sick. It made him wonder if she had been like that before – and how she could have put that down to anything apart from pregnancy. As usual, as soon as the door was opened, Mitsy had run into the room, and climbed onto the bed. That was okay. Ric was getting used to Mitsy.

Diane came back in, and climbed into the bed. "Hi, Mitsy." She grinned at Ric. "You know, I think she likes you. She was never around half so much when it was just me."

"She's probably jealous that you've got a new friend," Ric replied, yawning.

"Are you jealous, Mits?" Diane asked the little cat. "Are you jealous of Mummy and Uncle Ric?"

"Uncle Ric?" he repeated.

"What would you like to be called?" 

"I don't want to be 'uncle' to a cat," he said. "If you want to call yourself 'Mummy', then that's fine – weird, but fine. Just don't drag me into it."

Mitsy wandered across Ric's stomach, and stared at him.

"I think you're in this whether you like it or not, Ric," Diane teased him. "You're not getting out now."

"Who says I want to?"

***~*~***

"Josie?" Tom asked, entering the kitchen, where Josie was standing by the sink. She had elected to stay with him for the past week, because her own home was too full of memories of Jenn. Each day, she hoped to return home, but each day, managed to put it off. Tom planned to ask Anita to speak to her the following day – Anita would surely understand better, as a psychiatrist, but also as a woman. Women were always better at that sort of thing, Tom thought. He personally hated having "discussions", as his mother had always called them. They were embarrassing and uncomfortable, often culminating in tears or shouting.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she said, softly. Tom could now see that she was crying.

"Are you alright, Jo?" he asked, approaching her.

"I – yeah." She poured herself a glass of water, and downed it in one. "It just sunk in. Mum's not coming back, is she?"

Tom wanted desperately to be able to say something to make it better. The paternal instincts in him had been awakened on the day that Jenn died, and had been fighting desperately to break out ever since. Here was an outlet for them.

"She might not be coming back, Josie," he said, slowly. "But do you think that she's really gone? She's here now, in this room, with us. She would never leave you, Jo. She loves you."

"But – it's not the same," Josie burst out. "Everyone says she's still here, but I can't see her! I can't hear her talking to me, I can't see her, and I don't even know if she's here or not!" Tears were making their way down her cheeks, and her voice was shaky and uncontrolled. "And if she is here, how do I even know if she likes me? I've said some terrible things – if she's with me all the time, she must be so disappointed in me."

"Jenn's love for you is unconditional, Josie," Tom replied. "She doesn't only love you if you are perfect. She loves you no matter what you do, because you're her daughter."

Josie looked at him steadily. "How do you know that? How do you know that she would never stop loving me?"

"Because that's how I feel, Josie. And if I would never stop loving you, then you can be sure that Jenn wouldn't." He hugged her, and let her cry in his arms.

***~*~***

"Morning Dad, Diane," Jess called, cheerfully, as Ric and Diane strolled into AAU after their first operation of the day, laughing. "And," she added, triumphantly. "I've got the fifty pounds."

"Finally," Ric replied, causing Diane to begin laughing again.

"You're very cheerful today," Jess commented. "Are you drunk?"

"Chance would be a fine thing," Diane said, pretending to glare at Ric. "I'm not even allowed to _handle_ alcohol."

"There's no need," Ric retorted. 

"Hi," Lisa greeted them, as she walked past with a pile of papers. "Jess, can you take these down to Keller for me?"

"Yeah, sure. Who are they for?"

"Kath." Ric and Diane shared a look. Neither of them had any patience with Lisa's on-going feud with Kath. Even though Kath had been cleared of all charges, Lisa still refused to make up with the woman who was, in fact, her stepmother. Jess didn't comment, however, and simply took the file.

"Any new patients for us to see, Lisa?" Ric queried.

Lisa shook her head. "Nope… it's been really quiet today."

"Very well then, I think I will accompany my daughter," he said, turning to follow Jess. Diane began to leave as well, but Lisa caught her arm.

"Diane, I – I haven't seen much of you recently, I just wanted to say congratulations, you know, about you and Ric."

"Thanks," Diane replied, somewhat uncertainly. She had never been very close to Lisa – more so especially since she had found her in bed with Danny. She hurried to catch up with Ric and Jess.

"What did Lisa want?" Ric asked.

"To congratulate us."

"That's nice of her," Jess commented.

"Oh, Ric, I've got an appointment with Mubbs today," Diane informed him.

"What time? I'm at the Hadlington from ten until one."

"Eleven-thirty," Diane replied. "Typical."

"I can miss it," Ric offered, immediately. "I wouldn't want to miss your first appointment."

"No, no, I can't make you do that," Diane said, quickly. "Besides, I'm a big girl. I don't need you to come with me," she added, teasingly.

"I'll come if you want," Jess suggested. "My break is at eleven-thirty."

"Would you?" Diane asked. "That'd be great. Don't you mind?"

"Not at all," Jess replied. "What's going to happen?"

"No idea."

"Yes, why would you have an idea?" Ric asked, sarcastically. "You're only a doctor, a surgeon, after all."

"Precisely," Diane replied. "I'm a surgeon, not a midwife." She glanced at her watch. "And you'd better get going – it's nine-thirty."

"Already?" Ric looked at his own watch, and sighed loudly. "It's stopped." He snatched Diane's wrist, ignoring her complaint, and nodded. "I'll be back – sometime." He kissed Diane, took her watch, and raced off.

"I'll take those to Kath if you want," Diane offered.

"Yeah, okay. I'll see you at eleven-thirty," Jess replied, handing the papers to Diane, and leaving.

"Kath?" Diane greeted her. "These are from AAU."

"Thanks," Kath replied, taking the papers. "How are you? How's the baby?"

"We're fine," Diane replied. She paused, thinking. Kath was probably the best person to talk to about her recent thoughts. "Kath? You're religious, right?"

"I try to be. Why?"

"Just… I don't know."

Kath glanced at her. "There has to be a reason you asked, Diane. Unless of course you ask that question of everyone?"

"It's just… I'm not meant to have a baby when I'm not married, am I?" Diane asked, quietly.

"Am I answering this as a Catholic, or just a person?" Kath queried.

"A Catholic, please."

"Do you want my personal view, or the view of a stereotypical Catholic?"

"Are they different?" Diane asked.

"Yes. I believe that you're doing the right thing. I don't think that you will be damned for all eternity because you're having a baby, Diane." She paused. "Why are you so interested all of a sudden?"

"I've just been thinking about it lately. With Steve and everything, you know," she added, uncomfortably.

At this point, they were interrupted. Alex came storming into the ward. "You were meant to have been in theatre five minutes ago," he told Diane, angrily.

"Since when?" she demanded, immediately defensive. Since their argument the previous week, Alex and Diane hadn't spoken much.

"Since this morning when my list of patients was given out. See? Nine forty-five." He pointed at the number on the page, and Diane automatically looked for her watch to prove him wrong.

"Ric took my watch. I'm sorry." She shared an anguished look with Kath. "What time is it?"

"Nine fifty."

"I'm so sorry!" she apologised, beginning to pull her hair back quickly. "What are we doing?"

"Burst aneurysm, sixty-year-old man," he said, shortly. 

"I'll be one minute, I promise," she said, beginning to change. 

***~*~***

"Anita?" Tom asked, knocking on her door. 

She looked up. "C'mon in."

"Thanks," he said, entering. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Nope. Free as a bird," she replied.

"Do you want to come round?" he queried. "I think it would do Josie good to see someone other than me for once."

"How is she?" Anita looked concerned.

"She's – quiet. And she's saying strange things."

"Like what?"

Tom considered. "She thinks that Jenn won't love her any more – because she can see everything that she does. And it only sank in last night that Jenn is never coming back."

"That's normal, Tom," Anita replied. "You've never lost a parent, have you?"

"You know I haven't." They'd discussed his parents in their sessions. Why did she even ask him?

"Then you don't know that it takes a while for it to sink in," Anita continued. "Sure, Josie cried and knew that her mum was dead, but she didn't realise the full extent of it. Death is a complex thing, Tom. And you, you work with death every day. You've got blasé about it. But when it happens to you, when the person you value above everything and everyone in this world, it's – well, it takes a while. But once you've accepted it, then… you can start healing. It never stops hurting and you never stop wanting them, but it gets less. After a while, you can bear it. You wake up one morning and they aren't the first things on your mind – and that seems awful. But it's not, because when they were alive, they weren't in your every thought. And it's no different when they're not."

Something in Anita's voice made Tom think. "Have _you_ ever…?"

"Yeah." She looked down. "My mum died when I was sixteen. Then my dad died when I was twenty."

"I – I'm sorry."

"Yes, well." Anita didn't want to talk about it. "Josie's lucky. She's got you. I had no one." She began absent-mindedly ripping up a tissue, anything to distract herself. She didn't like talking about her parents. Even though it had been eight and twelve years, it still hurt like hell. But it was true – it did get more bearable.

"So do you want to come?" Tom asked, after a few minutes.

"I'd love to," she said, in a voice a little above a whisper. When she looked up, her eyes were full of tears. Tom hugged her. 

"I'm sorry, Anita."

"It's not your fault," she said, trying to laugh weakly. She felt guilty about acting like this – after all, Josie's grief was newer, more acute. But Josie doubtless would cope with her grief better than she, Anita, had done. She had bottled her grief up, never letting on how she felt. As a psychiatrist, she knew that she shouldn't, but there was no one to talk to. When you're a psychiatrist, you spend your life listening. And no one had listened to her in eight years, because there hadn't been anyone. And now there was Tom.

***~*~***

The moment that Diane walked into theatre, she felt the nausea wash over her. She closed her eyes briefly, and tried to take a deep breath without Alex noticing. He wasn't happy with her as it was. If she had to bottle out now, he would probably never speak to her again.

As she approached the table, she almost laughed at the irony of it. There were two surgeons, both of them incompetent – she, the pregnant woman feeling sick, and he, the man suffering from Parkinson's. And then the urge to laugh evaporated – partly because she realised how serious it was, but partly because she had to concentrate on not being sick or fainting.

"Thank you for coming, Miss Lloyd," Alex said, sarcastically. 

"My pleasure, Mr Adams," she snapped. She hadn't meant to speak like that, she thought, scandalised. She glanced up at him awkwardly. He wasn't looking too happy.

"Would you like to start?" he asked. She knew what he was doing. He didn't trust himself to operate. She didn't trust him to operate either – but she didn't trust herself not to be sick. And she was feeling light-headed now, too. The last thing she needed to do was faint. But still, she took the scalpel.

As she prepared to make the incision, the room began to spin. "Alex?" she asked.

He sighed impatiently. "What's the matter?"

"I – I feel a bit sick…"

"You'll cope, Diane," he replied, unfeelingly.

"I…" She couldn't continue. She clutched wildly at the table to stop herself from falling, but it didn't work. Everything went black.

***~*~***

Ric was just washing his hands when he was called.

"Mr Griffin?" It was a young student nurse. 

"Yes… Zachary, isn't it?" 

"Yeah, that's right. You, ah, you got a phone call," Zachary replied. "Says her name's Kath."

"Kath?" Ric repeated, following Zachary up to the phone. He picked it up. "Kath?"

"Ric," Kath began. "Now, don't panic, but…"

"That's never a good start to a sentence, Kath," Ric replied, beginning to panic already. "What is it?"

"It's Diane. She collapsed in theatre."

***~*~***

Within ten minutes, Ric was at Diane's side. "Are you alright?" he asked, anxiously. She was lying in a bed in maternity, looking vaguely amused at Ric's reaction. He had sprinted past the door of her room twice, and when he had finally arrived, he had knocked over a lamp. He would be explaining it to Owen, she decided.

"I'm fine," she said. "I just felt a bit faint, that's all."

"You collapsed," he protested.

"I fainted," she corrected him. "Everyone faints at one point in their life. I fainted in church once…"

"You've got a bruise," he commented, touching the purple mark on her head.

"I fell on the floor – I think I hit my head." She sighed. "It's nothing, really, Ric. Don't worry."

"What happened, then?" he asked, sitting down on the bed.

"I was in theatre with Alex, and I felt a bit sick. Then he wanted me to start, and… I felt faint. And I fainted."

"Why didn't you tell him that you felt ill?" Ric queried.

"I _did_." She sat up. "He told me that I'd be fine. Then I fainted."

"Have you seen Owen or Mubbs yet?" Ric decided that Alex was a touchy subject. He didn't like him, and from the way that Diane had spoken about him recently, it seemed as though she didn't like him much either.

"No. I've only been here five minutes, though. Besides, there's no need. I'm _fine_," she insisted, hoping that she looked it, because she certainly didn't feel it. But she didn't want pity – and Ric was too protective of her.

"If you say so," Ric replied, not looking convinced. After all, Diane would say she was fine after spending an hour being sick in the middle of the night. He supposed it was true about women having a higher pain threshold than men – or at least, Diane had.

"Well, well," Mubbs commented, entering. "What've you been doing?"

"She collapsed in theatre," Ric replied.

Diane shot him a look. "I _fainted_. And I'm fine."

"Well, at least you complain less than Chrissie," Mubbs remarked.

"Chrissie?" Diane repeated.

"Yeah, she's in labour. And _man_, can that woman yell," he laughed. "She's complaining about everything."

Diane glared at him. "And if you were having a baby, you'd be really calm?"

"I wouldn't make everyone's life a misery, that's for sure," Mubbs replied.

Diane was about to reply, but Ric clamped a hand over her mouth. "So what do you think—?" He broke off quickly as Diane bit his finger. "Please don't do that."

"Then don't put your hand over my mouth," she retorted. "Mubbs, I'm fine. Honestly."

"'Course you are," he agreed. Diane shot Ric a triumphant look. "But," he added, giving Ric the chance to return Diane's look, "You do need to relax a bit. Maybe cut back on the surgery a little?"

"And how am I going to do that? Who would take over?" Diane demanded.

"Hey, don't get angry at me!" Mubbs said, injured. "I was just making a suggestion. Stay in that bed for the rest of today. Get plenty of rest, make sure you eat and drink enough, and try to avoid stressful situations."

"I'm a surgeon," she replied. "That might be hard."

"It won't be," Ric put in. Diane grimaced.

"Try taking a holiday or something," Mubbs suggested. "When was the last time you had one?"

"I had a few days off over Easter," Diane replied. Mubbs was paged, and left, muttering to himself about Chrissie.

"Where did you go?" Ric queried.

"Nowhere. I stayed at home with Mitsy."

"When was the last time you went away?" Ric questioned.

"Ah… not sure." Diane thought. "October. I went away with Danny for the weekend."

"A weekend? That's the longest holiday you've had?"

"I haven't got anyone to go away with," Diane replied. "I booked the holiday with Danny because it was either that or break up – which we did anyway. Waste of money, really. And Danny's the only serious boyfriend I've had – well, since you. And I don't have any family."

"You must have _some_ family."

"My mum's dead," she said. "You know that. You were there, remember? You were the surgeon."

"I remember," he replied. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah. And I don't have any brothers or sisters," she finished. "Mitsy's the only family I have. Well, and the baby now."

"You've got me," Ric said, hugging her. "And you've got a dad."

"No, I haven't," she replied quickly.

"You did have."

"Not since I was a child," she corrected him.

"But I – I saw him," said Ric, in some confusion. "I met him when your mother was in hospital – when I met you."

"Yeah," she replied. 

"That's not an explanation," Ric told her.

"It wasn't meant to be." But when he continued looking at her, she decided that she should give some explanation. "Fine. He's not my dad. He might be my father, but I can't call him my dad."

"Why not?" Suddenly he remembered a conversation he had overheard between Diane and Danny, about a girl who had been raped. Diane had taken the girl's side, and had told Danny that he didn't know what he was talking about, that the girl might have her own reasons for keeping to herself. "Diane… did he…?"

"Attack me? Hit me? Punch me? Kick me? Bully me? Abuse me?" she asked, in a vicious whisper. "Scare me so much that I thought I'd die? Make me cry myself to sleep for sixteen years?" She looked up at him. "He did all of that. More."

"I… didn't know." Ric was silent.

"I don't tell people," she replied. "And now do you understand why he isn't my dad?"

"I shouldn't have asked," Ric said, hugging her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

***~*~***

Back in surgery, Alex paged Ed, and the operation went smoothly. 

"Why did you need me?" Ed demanded, as they were washing up.

"Because Miss Lloyd got queasy," Alex replied.

"Miss Lloyd?" Ed repeated. "So Diane's pissed you off in some way, then?"

"No." Alex turned away. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you've been so chummy with her recently, that I _know_ you aren't calling her Miss Lloyd all the time," Ed said. "So… what's she done?" When Alex was silent, he thought. "I know… it's because she's dating Ric, isn't it? You like her! You like Diane?"

"No." Alex stormed out, leaving Ed and his newfound knowledge to himself.

***~*~***

"Did it go okay, Mr Adams?" asked the young woman, waiting anxiously by the side of the bed. "Is Dad gonna be okay?"

"It went fine…"

"Isabel."

"Isabel. It went fine, yes," replied Alex. "Although the other surgeon did turn queasy—"

"Mr Adams!" Ric interrupted.

"Yes?" Alex asked, turning around. "I'll be with you in a moment, Isabel." He followed Ric. "What?"

"Firstly, I would appreciate it if you did _not_ talk about Diane behind her back," Ric said, sternly. 

"I wasn't. I was simply putting Isabel at ease."

"At Diane's expense," Ric put in. "And secondly, why didn't you help her?"

"What do you mean?"

"When she told you that she felt sick. Why didn't you help her?"

"Why should I help her?" Alex asked. "She's a surgeon, she should be able to cope with surgery without fainting."

"She's pregnant, that's why," Ric replied. "But of course, that wouldn't mean anything to _you_, would it? You just think that pregnancy is an inconvenience, something that you have to stop as quickly as possible. Well, Diane doesn't share those views—"

Alex interrupted him. "Having that abortion was just as much Jess' decision as mine!"

"You forced her into it! If it hadn't been for you, Jess would never even have _thought_ of having an abortion," Ric stated.

"How can you be so sure, Ric?" Alex taunted. "She was the one who signed the form. She was the one who let it happen."

Ric began to answer, but he didn't trust himself. He turned and left.

"Yeah, that's right," Alex replied. "Just walk away. That'll get rid of your problem."

"Are you calling Diane and the baby a problem?" Ric demanded, whirling around. "Forget it, Alex. You're just jealous because she chose me and not you. You're not good enough for her." He took advantage of the fact that Alex was speechless with anger to leave.

***~*~***

Josie sat on Tom's sofa, feeling alone. She had no one in the world. Tom, although he was her father and a very nice man, wasn't someone she'd known a long time. She wanted someone that she'd known – she wanted her mum.

Holding onto a cushion, she began to cry. 

_With You All The Time_

_ – Gareth Gates_

_I live beneath the heart  
I watch you from the dark  
I'm every breath I'm every dream  
I've known you forever  
I've followed you everywhere  
I'm every scar I'm who you are  
when you think you're alone  
when you cry cos someone's unfair  
you can rest assured I'm always there  
  
even when you feel like you don't belong  
even when you fall and it all goes wrong  
you know that I'm with you   
that I'm with you all the time  
  
say a little prayer for the restless heart  
we shall never ever drift apart  
know that I'm with you   
know that I'm with you   
with you all the time  
  
I'm walking round the room  
I'm laughing when you smile  
and when you cry I cry too  
I made you a promise  
that I shall forever be  
you're on your own but not alone  
when you're down and you're rife   
and the world tells you no-one cares  
you can rest assured I'm always there  
  
even when you feel like you don't belong  
even when you fall and it all goes wrong  
you know that I'm with you   
that I'm with you all the time  
  
say a little prayer for the restless heart  
we shall never ever drift apart  
know that I'm with you   
know that I'm with you   
with you all the time  
  
save a little love for me  
you'll see  
save a little love for me  
you'll see  
save a little love for me  
you'll see  
and you'll see  
  
even when you feel like you don't belong  
even when you fall and it all goes wrong  
you know that I'm with you   
that I'm with you all the time  
  
say a little prayer for the restless heart  
we shall never ever drift apart  
know that I'm with you   
know that I'm with you   
with you all the time  
  
you know that I'm with you   
that I'm with you all the time  
  
say a little prayer for the restless heart  
we shall never ever drift apart  
know that I'm with you   
know that I'm with you   
with you all the time_

***~*~***

Alex stormed into Diane's room. "Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.

Diane, rudely awakened from a deep sleep, didn't reply for a moment. Alex repeated his question. Diane, yawning, sat up. "What?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you're pregnant?"

"'Cause I haven't spoken to you recently." She wasn't going to let him get away with being angry with _her_. She had done nothing wrong. "I'd have told you if you weren't being such a _baby_ about the fact that I postponed our date."

"Postponed our date? You went out with Ric on that same night!" he said, annoyed.

"Because I had nothing else to do," she replied. "And besides," she added. "I'm glad I did. Ric is wonderful."

Alex glared. "Wonderful," he mocked. "I thought you liked me."

"Liked you," she repeated. "I _liked_ you, yes. As a friend… nothing serious. But I _love_ Ric. There's a big difference." Alex, sensing that he was losing, stomped out, pushing past Ric.

"So, there's a difference, is there?" Ric asked.

"You heard?"

"I'm afraid so." He looked intently at her. "Do you mean it? Or were you just trying to annoy Alex?"

"I meant it," she replied. "Annoying Alex was an added bonus." 

"Well… thank you," he said, sitting down. "If you ever want any help annoying Mr Adams, then you just have to ask. I'll be more than happy to." He began flicking through her magazine, and, after a few moments, spoke again, with forced casualness. "Oh, by the way. I love you, too."

***~*~***

"It's a girl," Mubbs announced, triumphantly, holding the baby up for Chrissie to see.

"A girl…" Chrissie whispered, exhausted. "It's a girl, Mum," she added to Tricia, standing by her side.

Tricia bit back a sarcastic remark. She knew it was a girl. She was standing right there – she had heard Mubbs' comment. Never mind. She contented herself with merely saying, "Congratulations, Chrissie." 

Mubbs handed the baby to Chrissie, who stared in amazement. "She's huge…"

"Six pounds, two ounces," Mubbs replied. "Well done." He paused. "Should I, ah, get Owen in? Or Ed?"

"Mum can get Owen," Chrissie said. She wanted to be alone with the baby. "Mubbs?" she called, as her mother left, and Mubbs prepared to go. "Is she… I mean, does she have…?" She couldn't force herself to ask if the baby had Down's.

"She doesn't," Mubbs replied. "She's perfectly healthy, Chrissie."

Chrissie nodded, her eyes full of joyful tears. She couldn't believe that it was all over – the horror of her pregnancy was finally over. And now she could settle down for the rest of her life with her daughter.

"Oh, does she have a name?" Mubbs queried, interestedly.

"Amanda," Chrissie replied, softly. "Amanda Davis." She tore her eyes away from baby Amanda. "Isn't my little girl gorgeous?"

"A bit scrunched-up looking, if you ask me," Mubbs replied, cheekily. He left before Chrissie could reply.

"Hi, Manda," Chrissie whispered. "Hi there. I'm your mummy, Manda. That nasty man was Uncle Mubbs. We don't like him. And your Nana Tricia is out there with your daddy." She smiled. "You look so much like your daddy, little girl. He's going to be so proud and so happy to meet you. And he's going to want to take you and me home with him as soon as he can. The moment he sees you, he'll know. He'll know, just like I knew."

***~*~***

"Dad?" Jess asked, catching hold of Ric. "Where's Diane? I couldn't find her earlier."

"She fainted," Ric replied. "She's up in maternity."

"Is she okay?" Jess queried, anxiously. "What about the baby?"

"The baby's fine, and she's fine – or so she keeps telling me." Ric smiled. "Don't worry about her. She's certainly not worried about herself. I think she just was annoyed because she made a fool of herself in front of Alex Adams – who, by the way, she had a blazing row with earlier."

Jess laughed. "Who hasn't had a row with Alex Adams?"

"I certainly have," Ric replied. He allowed himself a little laugh. "You can see her if you want. She's in the little side-room."

"Thanks!" Jess shouted back, as she dashed off. Ric smiled after her. 

***~*~***

Owen stepped carefully into the room. It had taken him nearly an hour to work up the courage to enter, and he saw that Chrissie was fast asleep. The baby was asleep in a little hospital cot.

"Hello," he said, awkwardly. It was stupid, why should he feel apprehensive about seeing a baby? He was an obstetrician; he worked with babies every day. He knew why, though. It was because he didn't want to see anything that might resemble Ed Keating. But he didn't want to see anything that resembled himself, either. He had hoped that this day would never come, because he knew that today, he would have to make a decision.

The baby flailed an arm around, and Owen approached it, tentatively. "Hello." He looked at the nametag on the cot. _Baby Girl Amanda Davis_.

"Davis, huh?" Owen gently picked the baby up. "So you've picked me as your daddy, have you?" He looked at her for a moment. "Amanda Davis. It suits you. Mandy Davis."

"You'll let her keep her name, then?" Chrissie asked, sleepily.

"Why not? She's done nothing wrong." Owen handed Amanda over to Chrissie. 

"Meaning that I have?"

"Meaning that you have," Owen agreed. "I don't know if Amanda is my daughter or not, Chrissie."

"She's your daughter," Chrissie stated. "Look at her, Owen. That's your face – your eyes, your nose, and your mouth. She's the spitting image of you, Owen. Do you see _anything_ that resembles Ed?"

"No," Owen said, softly. "But… Chrissie. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the fact that you cheated on me. You lied to me."

"Please, Owen." Chrissie looked down at baby Amanda. "Don't do this to me – to your beautiful daughter. I need you. _Manda_ needs you."

"Don't blackmail me, Chrissie." Owen followed Chrissie's gaze, looking at Amanda. "I won't desert Amanda. But you – you hurt me so much, Chrissie."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Chrissie replied. "It was a mistake, Owen. I don't love Ed – I love you! I just… how could I ever love Ed? I've loved you once, and that's enough to make me never love another man again. No one would ever measure up to you. Just… give me one more chance. Please? Take it slowly. I can stay with Mum, I don't mind, I'll do anything, just – anything, Owen, please!"

Owen thought for a long time. Eventually, he nodded. "Fine. Just – very slowly, yeah?"

"Thank you," Chrissie replied, softly. Owen sat down on the bed, looking at his wife holding his daughter – his daughter. He was a father again. There was silence for a few minutes. Eventually, Chrissie spoke. "You know, I want Manda to have a middle name. I wanted you to choose."

Owen looked up, seemingly touched. "Thanks, Chrissie." 

"So… go on. Give her a middle name," Chrissie prompted. "Amanda…?"

"I, ah, I have thought of a few names, actually. Ages ago, when you first told me you were pregnant," Owen confessed. "I always had this image in my mind, of you and me and a baby. Little Amanda, huh?" He paused. "You know what? I think Niamh."

"Amanda Niamh Davis," Chrissie tried. "It's perfect." She met Owen's eyes. "Thank you."

***~*~***

"Diane?" Jess asked, creeping into Diane's room, nervously. Diane almost laughed at the look on Jess' face.

"I'm fine," she said, automatically.

"I didn't ask."

"Sorry." As Jess sat in the chair, Diane smiled. "But you're about to, aren't you? It's the first question that springs to mind."

"It's not," Jess disagreed. After a moment, she spoke. "So, how are—?" She broke off. "Maybe you're right."

They both laughed. 

After a moment's pause, Diane spoke. "Mubbs told me that Chrissie had a little girl today."

"She's had it? Oh, wow! I wonder what she called her?" Jess wondered.

Diane placed her finger over the call button. "I'll ask Mubbs."

"Don't!" Jess cautioned her. "That's for…"

"Emergencies only. Yeah."

"Guess what I heard?" Jess said, suddenly. 

"What?"

"You know Alex Adams?" Diane opened her mouth to reply. "Dad told me you'd had a row, yeah. I thought it might make you feel better to hear some malicious gossip about him."

"I'm all ears. Go on."

"Apparently, last week, he was operating, and his hand _twitched_," Jess began. Diane began to speak, but Jess cut her off. "That's not all. He was doing a heart valve replacement. The patient died."

"Oh my…" Diane drew in a sharp breath.

Jess, oblivious to Diane's extra knowledge, continued. "And, the patient was one of Mr Campbell-Gore's exes."

"Oh…" 

"I know, it's terrible, but…" Jess paused. "I can't say that. It sounds totally heartless."

"Who told you?" Diane queried.

"Lisa," Jess replied. "Chrissie told her, and Ed Keating told Chrissie – he was in theatre when it happened."

_I'd never put one of my patients in danger_. That's what he had said. He had told her that he could manage – that he would never lose a patient. This was just gossip, but still… Alex had lost a patient. Due to a tremor. His Parkinson's had killed someone. And if she was the only one who knew about it, then surely she had to do something about it? She had to.

"Jess," she began. "I need to tell you something."

"Sure."

"It's – it's important," Diane faltered. "I mean, it's _really_ important. It's about Alex." Jess nodded for her to continue. "I… know why it happened. I promised him I wouldn't say anything, but I never thought that he'd let it get this far. It's my duty to tell someone now."

"What is it?" Jess queried, eagerly.

"He – he's got Parkinson's," Diane said, softly. "I – I don't know what to do. Should I – I need to tell someone, don't I?"

Jess nodded. "Yeah." She paused. "He's got Parkinson's? But, he's only, what – he's young, Diane. He can't have Parkinson's! Old people get it."

"No… not young onset Parkinson's," replied Diane. "He'll never forgive me for telling you. I know he won't."

Jess stood up. "Don't worry about it, yeah? I'll sort it." She moved for the door.

"What are you going to do?" Diane asked, panicked. But Jess only smiled.

***~*~***

Tom turned the key in the lock, and led Anita into the hallway.

"It looks different when I'm sober," she commented. She caught sight of Tom's face. "Sorry – I didn't mean to remind you."

"Don't worry. I'm getting used to it," he replied. He pushed open the door to the living room, and called out. "Josie? Jo? I'm home!"

Josie came down the stairs. "Hi." Her eyes were red from crying, but she had tried to smarten up slightly. She'd taken a shower and washed her hair, anyway. She paused for a moment when she saw Anita. "I, ah, I'm sure I know you."

"Anita Forbes," Anita replied. "I met you last week. In the hospital. I'm your dad's girlfriend." She said it so casually that Tom almost didn't notice. When he did, he looked at her. She looked normal, with just a flicker of a smile masking her lips.

"Anita, yeah. I remember." Josie's mouth set as she remembered what had happened afterwards. "The kettle's on, if you want some coffee."

"Sure," Anita agreed.

"You want some?" Josie queried of Tom. She avoided calling him 'Dad' or 'Tom', or even 'Mr Campbell-Gore' as she had done on that first day.

"Why not?" Tom replied. "Have we got any milk?"

"No… I'm afraid I used the last earlier." Josie shrugged apologetically.

"I'll go and get some," Tom offered. He picked up his keys. "I'll be back in twenty minutes. You girls get to know one another."

Anita made a face at the door, as he left. "He planned that, didn't he?"

"Couldn't have been more obvious if he'd tried," Josie replied, a weak laugh escaping. She opened the door to the kitchen. 

"I say we lock him out," Anita suggested, putting the chain on the door. "There! He'll not be getting in unless we let him."

Josie laughed. "Do you want milk?"

"Nah… I hate milky coffee." Anita did put three spoonfuls of sugar in the cup of black coffee that Josie handed her, though. "What about you?"

"Same here," Josie agreed. "No milk, no sugar. Easy." She paused. "And I think that the joke's on him now. We don't need milk."

"On whom?" Anita queried, interested to see how Josie would answer the question.

"My father," she replied, as though it were obvious.

"What do you call him?"

"I… don't. Not really, anyway." Josie paused. "I called him Mr Campbell-Gore at first. Then he told me to stop it, and to call him Dad. So I've just avoided using a name."

"What, don't you want to call him Dad?" Anita questioned.

"You're a psychiatrist, aren't you?" Josie countered. "I want to call him Dad, yeah. It's just – Mum didn't want me to know him. Isn't it wrong?"

"No," Anita replied. "It's not wrong at all, Josie. Your Mum wouldn't have wanted you to be left alone. And she wouldn't want you to hold off feeling something for your father."

And, when Tom arrived back, slightly perturbed at having to have Anita let him into his own house, Josie greeted him with, "Hi, Dad."

***~*~***

"You're free to go," Mubbs announced, opening the door to Diane's room.

"Thank goodness!" Diane replied, dramatically. Ric took her arm, but she pulled away. "If you're doing that to help me walk, then stop it. If you're doing it to be romantic, then it's okay."

"Well, you know me," Ric said, smiling. "I'm very romantic."

"Fresh air!" Diane exclaimed, as they left the building.

"You're acting as though you've been in there for years," Ric told her.

"It feels like it. I hate lying in bed during the day," she replied. "And I hate being the patient. If I ever have to be in there again, promise me that you will do everything in your power to get me out, okay?"

Ric laughed. "I promise."

"Thanks. I love you."

_____________________________________

Well, one more part down… and more exams gone past as well. 

There will be some more parts – at least two more. I've already got the epilogue planned (yes, I'm weird like that), but I've got I think two chapters before that. 

Are you still liking it?


	4. Head Over Heels

Too lazy to recap. Go and read the rest if you care. If not, you can probably catch up.

***~*~***

"Knock, knock," Owen announced, pushing open the door to the ward. Chrissie was the only one in there, along with week-old Manda. They were due to go home that day. 

"Hiya," Chrissie replied, cheerfully. "I think Miss Manda's just woken up, too." She picked up the restless baby, and smiled. "Did you wake up for Daddy?"

"Of course she did," Owen said. "You're a little Daddy's girl, aren't you, Manda?"

Chrissie passed the baby over to Owen. "So, did you just come to see Manda?"

"I wanted to make sure that you were all prepared for going home," Owen replied. "And… I wanted to give you this," he added, shifting Manda over to his other arm so that he could reach into his pocket. He produced a long, thin box. "Open it."

Chrissie eagerly did so. She took out a thin gold necklace, with a locket attached to it. "Oh, Owen, it's beautiful." Looking at the back of the locket, she looked up at him. "What's CWANDOD?"

Owen smiled. "Well, you can look at it two ways. It's either CW – Chrissie Williams – and OD – Owen Davis, or it's Chrissie Williams, Amanda Niamh Davis, Owen Davis."

Chrissie's heart missed a beat. That was so romantic, so sweet. So… Owen. "Thank you," she whispered.

"That's okay," he replied. "I wanted to do something for us as a family."

A family, Chrissie heard. She blinked to stop the tears from flowing. She had a family – Owen and Amanda. She'd never realised what Amanda Niamh Davis spelt before. She wondered if Owen had known when he suggested it. Either way, it symbolised them perfectly. Manda was their link together – their anchor. And she knew that, although it might be a long road, they would manage it. They'd do it for Amanda's sake.

***~*~***

"I'm getting _fat_," Diane remarked, rather annoyed, as they walked into Holby City Hospital. It was the first day that Ric had allowed her to come back to work – he had insisted on making her rest for a week. Needless to say, Diane had not been pleased.

"You're allowed to," Ric told her. "You're pregnant."

"Oh, so that's why I was up all night being sick?" she asked, sarcastically. She shook her head. "Sorry. Lack of sleep."

"That's alright," Ric replied, holding the door to Keller ward open. 

"Diane!" Kath called. "How are you?"

"Just as fine as I've been for the past week," she replied, sending Ric a withering look. He simply smiled and held his hands up.

"I've just been taking good care of you."

"Is he getting a little too protective?" Kath queried.

"He's fine really," replied Diane grudgingly, as Ric put his arms around her waist.

"Now, I've got to get to theatre early," Ric told them. 

"What about me?" Diane asked.

"Ah… you'll be doing paperwork today," Ric replied.

"I'll be doing what?" she repeated, annoyed. Ric gestured vaguely towards a pile of paper on Kath's desk, and retreated hastily. Kath sent Diane an apologetic look. "You have got to be kidding," Diane said.

"I'm not going to defy Ric," Kath replied. "Can you imagine what he'd do to me if I let you work?"

"Let me?" Diane repeated. "I'm totally independent, Kath." She sighed. "Well, I suppose I'd better get on with this." She took the pile of papers that Kath handed her, and sat down with a pen. Kath smiled, and all was calm again.

***~*~***

"Morning, Dad," Josie muttered, as she stumbled into the kitchen, bleary-eyed. "Anita."

Anita, who looked every bit as sleepy as Josie, simply nodded, but Tom stood up. "Breakfast, Jo?"

"Uh-uh," she mumbled. "Coffee." She poured herself a cup, and drank it in one. She blinked a few times. "That's better."

"Sleep well?" Tom queried.

"Yes thanks," Josie replied. "You?"

"I did, certainly. I think Anita might still be sleeping," he added jokingly, looking towards Anita, who had her eyes closed, and was resting her head on her folded arms.

"Nah… I'm not," Anita said, sitting up. "Honest." She rubbed her eyes. "I'm not a morning person."

"Coffee?" Josie offered.

Anita shuddered. "In the morning? Ugh."

Tom laughed, and got up. "I'd better get off to work. I've got patients waiting." He looked at Anita. "Do you want a lift?"

She shook her head. "I don't have any appointments 'til two. And besides, I'm not dressed."

"I'm not complaining," Tom replied, kissing her. 

Josie made an indistinct sound. "I think I might go back to bed."

Tom pulled away, and Anita laughed, slumping back down onto the table. "I'll go," Tom said, sighing. "See you later, girls." He left, and Anita sat back up. 

"So, you and Dad…" Josie hinted to Anita. "You're pretty serious. How long have you been seeing each other?"

Anita counted backwards in her mind. "Ah… two weeks."

"Only two weeks?" Josie queried. "You practically live here!"

"We moved fast," Anita replied, sheepishly. "We've known each other longer than that. Besides, we both feel the same way."

"Do you love him?"

Anita looked down. "That's a bit blunt." 

"Do you?" Josie persisted.

"Yeah," she replied. "I'm head over heels in love with him, if you must know." 

Josie almost laughed at the expression on Anita's face. "Congratulations. Does he know?"

"Nope." She smiled. "I'm gonna tell him tonight."

***~*~***

"Mrs… Carlisle?" Kath queried. The woman was about thirty-five, and was with her husband. "What's the matter?"

"She's got chest pains," her husband replied. "Haven't you, Ree?"

"I – I'm fine," Mrs Carlisle replied, breathing heavily. "John's just a worrier," she told Kath. "I'm fine." She smiled weakly.

"Ree, you were gasping for breath," her husband retorted. "Can she have some painkillers or something?"

"I'm afraid not," Kath answered, sympathetically. "She's nil by mouth until after the operation."

Mr Carlisle sighed, impatiently. "Can't you do anything, then?"

"I'll get Mr Campbell-Gore," Kath said. She rushed out of the ward, and picked up the phone. 

"What's so urgent?" Diane queried.

"Mrs Carlisle, Mr Campbell-Gore's patient, she's having chest pains." Kath spoke both to Diane and down the phone. "Looks like she's having a heart attack."

"Sounds nasty," Diane remarked, turning over a page. "Ow, paper cut," she muttered, putting her finger into her mouth. 

"Nurse! Doctor!" Mr Carlisle shouted, running up. "My wife – Ree –" By this time, Kath was already over by Mrs Carlisle, checking her over. 

"Diane!" she called, panicked. "Come here! We need your help!"

Diane raced over. "Oh my…" she murmured, looking at Mrs Carlisle.

"What? Do something, please!" Mr Carlisle begged, as Sandy hustled him out of the cubicle. "She can't die – we've got a little girl, little Darcy, don't let her die…"

"Mr Carlisle, please," Sandy said, trying to push him away. "We need you to wait somewhere so that they can work on your wife."

"Mrs Carlisle?" Diane asked. "Can you hear me?" There was no answer, and she noticed blood appearing at the edge of her mouth. "Can we get her down to theatre? Someone page Ric, I'm going down there."

"But Ric said…" Kath began.

"Look, Kath, this is life or death. I'm sure Ric won't mind," Diane replied.

But when, five minutes later, Ric arrived in theatre to find Diane fully scrubbed and in the middle of surgery, she found that she was wrong. "What are you doing?" he demanded. "I thought you were doing paper work."

She sighed. "Look. This is work, and that –" pointing to the paper towels "– is paper. It's not harming me, Ric. I'm absolutely fine. I like doing this, and it's my job. So just let it be."

"Fine." He clearly wasn't happy, though. "What are we doing here?"

"She's Mr Campbell-Gore's patient, but she arrested and I was the only one around. BP's down, and she's loosing a lot of blood." Ric nodded, and Diane knew that she was forgiven.

***~*~***

Owen caught Mubbs as he passed. "Mubbs?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to take Chrissie home," Owen replied. "Can I count on you to take control for the next hour or so?"

"You mean you don't want Rosie to?" Mubbs queried, chuckling. Rosie and Owen had argued a few times, and were definitely not the best of friends.

"No, I'm asking you." Owen smiled, and went into Chrissie's room. "Ready to go, Mrs Davis?"

She stood up. "Yeah. Can't wait to get out of here." She picked up baby Manda. "C'mon, Manda. You're going to see your bedroom, and your cot. Are you looking forward to it?" Manda yawned. "I'll take that as a yes."

Owen fastened Manda into her baby seat, and carried his daughter down to the car park. He fastened the seat into the back, and opened the door for Chrissie to get into the front. "Well… we're driving away from the hospital."

"Amanda's going to see her house," Chrissie replied, excitedly. "Well, her Nana Tricia's house, anyway." Owen simply smiled. 

Nearly ten minutes later, Chrissie spoke again. "Owen? You're going the wrong way. You should've turned left."

"I'm not going the wrong way," Owen replied, pulling into his own driveway. "I said I'd take my wife and daughter home. I have done, Chrissie." He stepped out of the car, and picked Manda up. "Tricia helped me to bring all your stuff here yesterday. Welcome home."

He turned the key in the lock, and pushed the door open. Katie ran down the stairs. "Can I see the baby?" she squealed. "I can't believe I have a sister!"

Owen smiled. "Sure. Be quiet, though. She's asleep."

"What's her name?" Katie asked, eagerly.

"Amanda Niamh," Chrissie replied. "Manda."

"She's tiny!" Katie whispered. "She's so cute."

Owen looked at his daughters and his wife. Although Chrissie and Katie had their differences, they both looked happy enough. He knew that his life was perfect now. He had Chrissie, Katie, and Amanda. His three beautiful girls. 

***~*~***

Ric and Diane were still operating on Mrs Carlisle nearly an hour later. "I don't think it's her liver she should be worrying about," Ric commented, pointing to something. "Look at that blood clot on the right lung."

"No wonder she was having chest pains," Diane remarked. "Are you going to remove it?"

"If it's possible, yes." After a few minutes, he spoke again. "I think we have successfully stolen Tom Campbell-Gore's patient."

"If we'd waited for him, she'd have died," Diane insisted. "We didn't do anything wrong."

"Pity," Ric replied, causing Diane to shoot him a look. 

***~*~***

Tom sighed as he walked along. His first operation had been taken over by Ric Griffin. According to Kath, it had meant life or death to the patient, so he didn't mind. He was slightly annoyed that Diane was assisting Ric, though, and for two reasons. Firstly, she was Ric's girlfriend. And secondly, she'd been away for a week, ill. But he couldn't dwell on that. He had to get to a patient.

The man in the bed looked about Tom's age. "Kevin Peters," he introduced himself, smiling.

"I'm Mr Campbell-Gore, the consultant," Tom replied. "Do you have any questions about the operation?"

"No… I don't care what you do as long as you make me better," Kevin answered.

"Well, we'll certainly do our best, Mr Peters. I'll see you in theatre." Tom left, smiling. He liked patients like Kevin – they were always easy to deal with. The hard ones were the ones who had researched their illness and treatment, and thought that they knew best. He'd had one like that recently. She had spent almost an hour telling him how they treated it in America. 

As he walked along, someone ran into him. He pushed her away gently, and, when he saw who it was, began to laugh. "Anita."

"Tom! Sorry, I didn't mean to…" She trailed off, laughing. 

"We do this a lot, don't we?" Tom queried.

"Well, at least we see each other," Anita replied. "Oh, that reminds me. Do you want to go out tonight?"

"Certainly," Tom agreed. "What about Josie, though?"

Anita rolled her eyes. "Firstly, it was Josie's idea. And secondly, she's twenty years old. She doesn't need a babysitter."

"Yes. Well, I'd love to see you tonight," Tom replied. "I'll meet you back at mine? I've got to go to theatre now… gall bladder removal."

Anita winced. "How you can do that is beyond me. I never have to see the insides of people, doing what I do." She kissed him quickly. "See ya tonight, then," she added, walking off.

Ed passed by just in time to see this. "Ooh," he said, smiling. "Got yourself a girlfriend, Tom?"

"We haven't got time to waste," Tom replied. "Mr Peters is being prepped as we speak." But, as the two of them entered surgery, he added, "But Anita and I have become very… close, recently."

"Well, lucky you," Ed said, slightly bitterly. "My love-life is a disaster. Chrissie gave birth last week. A little girl. Amanda Niamh."

"Well, congratulations," Tom offered.

"No. Because I'm not Amanda's father, Owen is," Ed replied. "And I've seen Amanda. She looks like Owen. I can't deny it." He paused as he cleansed his hands. "I wanted Chrissie to have an abortion when I found out she was pregnant, but now… well, I can't help wishing that Amanda was mine."

"You'll get your chance," Tom reassured him.

"Coming from the man who got a girlfriend and a daughter in two weeks," Ed retorted.

"I'm lucky, I know." Tom led the way over to the patient. "Now, let's get started, shall we?"

***~*~***

Chrissie sat comfortably on the rocking chair next to Manda's cot. The baby was asleep in her arms, but Chrissie couldn't bear to put her down. She was alone in the house, as Owen had taken Katie back to Laura's.

"I love you so much, little girl," she whispered, so as not to wake the tiny child. "I'm going to be the best mummy ever. I'll read to you at night, and I'll watch you in all your school plays, I'll take you shopping, I'll play with you, I'll do everything with you, Manda. I'll never be angry with you. And if Daddy ever gets angry with you, you just come to me, and I'll handle him. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. You've changed my life – and I love you for it."

***~*~***

"I think we're done," Ric announced, as he put the final stitch in place. He turned to Diane. "Are you okay?"

"Never been better." In actuality, she felt a little bit nauseous… but not enough to tell Ric about. He would only fuss. 

"Are you continuing to operate today?" he asked.

"Of course. Ric, it's no big deal," she replied. "I'm pregnant, not sick. Trust me, I did fine there, didn't I?"

He sighed, grudgingly. "You did perfectly."

"Thank you." She looked down at her stomach. "Look."

"What am I looking at?" he queried.

"This," she replied. "There's something there." She placed her hand on her stomach. "I think I'm getting fat."

"Pregnant, not fat," Ric corrected her.

"Both. Surely I'm not meant to get fat so quickly?"

Ric considered. "Well, how quickly is it? How far along are you?"

"Uh…" She counted quickly. "Seven… eight, nine, ten. I think about eleven weeks."

"That's nearly three months," he commented. 

"I know that. I can do sums just as well as you," she retorted.

"Well, probably not just as well," he replied. "Men are well-known to be better at maths than women."

"That's just stereotyping," Diane said. "I'm exceptional."

Ric chuckled. "Yes, but so am I. So I'm still better."

"Seven nines," she challenged him.

"Sixty-three," he replied quickly, walking out. She followed him.

"Eight sixes."

"Diane, what are you trying to prove?" he demanded.

"Nothing." She paused for a moment, and then spoke again. "Eight sevens."

"What?"

"Well, you obviously don't know what eight sixes are," she replied. "It's forty-eight, by the way."

They entered AAU and saw Jess. "Hi, Dad, Diane."

"Quiz her," Ric told Diane, slipping away quickly. She stuck her tongue out at his retreating back.

"What's that all about?" Jess queried. She stopped. "You know what? I probably don't want to know."

"He thinks that he's better at maths than me," Diane replied.

"He is good at maths," Jess commented. Off Diane's look, she corrected herself. "You're probably good at maths too. I wouldn't know." She paused. "Do you want to sit down?"

"No," Diane replied, confused. "Why?"

"Because… you know…" Jess nodded towards Diane's stomach.

"Oh. Because I'm pregnant? Thanks, but I'm fine." She looked at Jess. "Can you tell that I'm pregnant? Do I look fat?" 

Jess glanced critically at Diane's stomach. "A little bit. Not fat, just – there's something there."

"I thought so. Ric told me that there wasn't."

Jess laughed. "And you believed him? He'd only have been able to tell if you put on about three stone, Diane."

"You're probably right about that." At that point, Alex Adams walked past. Diane lowered her voice. "Have you said anything to him?"

Jess shook her head. "Not yet… haven't seen him recently. Do you want to do it now?"

"Me?" Diane exclaimed. "He won't like that, Jess. He loathes me."

"Why? Because you're pregnant?" Jess asked. "He's even stupider than I thought."

"No, it's because – he asked me out, and I said yes, and then I cancelled on him, and spent the night with Ric," Diane replied. "Apparently he doesn't like it if you do that. Can't imagine why," she added, mock-innocently.

"He can't hold a grudge about that forever," Jess decided. "Come on – we have to speak to him, before it happens again."

Diane nodded. "Fine." They chased after Alex.

"Alex!" Jess called. He whirled around.

"What do you want?" he demanded.

"Alex," Diane began. "I heard about what happened… with that patient."

"And which patient would this be?"

"Jennifer Whitten," Jess replied. "You know? Mr Campbell-Gore's ex-girlfriend? The one who DIED?" Alex winced painfully. "Remember now?" she added, viciously.

"Alex, you told me that you would never put a patient's life in danger," Diane put in. 

"I wouldn't!" he protested.

"But you let Mrs Whitten die," Jess told him.

"Alex, you have to stop now," Diane pleaded. "Please! Let Mrs Whitten be the only one who has to die because of you. Don't let anyone else."

"What happened to confidentiality?" Alex demanded of Diane. "Your friend Hope knew in confidence about – this. Suddenly you knew. And now, miraculously, Jess knows. Can none of you keep secrets?"

"Alex, Ethan didn't tell me anything," Diane replied. "He never would! I figured it out."

"So how come Jess knows?"

"I… ah, I told her," Diane confessed, slowly. 

"The brilliant Miss Lloyd betrayed a confidence, tut-tut," Alex mocked. "What would Ric say if he knew that his precious Diane was telling people's secrets? Oh wait, he probably does. I can't imagine that you kept it secret from him for long. It was probably what got you into his bed and pregnant with his child."

Diane blushed. "I never told Ric! I only told Jess so that she could help you, Alex. Besides, Ric isn't the father of my child."

"And you have no right to say things like that about Dad and Diane!" Jess added.

"Well, if she's having someone else's child, I think I have quite a bit of a right," Alex replied. "Does Ric know that he isn't the daddy? And does the father know?"

Diane looked uncomfortable, so Jess answered for her. "Of course he knows. Both of them know."

"Look, Alex, don't try and change the subject," Diane said, suddenly. "You killed Mrs Whitten. You can't hide it anymore. Ed Keating saw you. One day, someone will find out. Isn't it better for you to resign now and keep your dignity, than to get kicked out after killing another patient?"

"Resign?" Alex repeated.

"Alex, if you don't resign, then I will have no choice but to tell someone," Diane replied. "I'm sorry. I have to."

"You're not alone," Jess told him. 

"Yes, because I have my extensive circle of friends and family," he snapped, sarcastically. "My work is my life. If I give it up, I will have no life."

"If you don't, then nor will your patients," Diane remarked. "Alex, you know that it's the right thing to do."

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked. "Go up to Tom Campbell-Gore and tell him that I killed a patient?"

"No," Jess replied. "Tell him that you've developed an illness, that you have Parkinson's. There's no need to say anything about Mrs Whitten."

"Go now," Diane insisted. Alex seemed to be weakening.

"I'm about to finish my career," he said, softly. "What am I going to do, Jess? Diane?"

"Do – do you want me to come with you?" Jess offered.

"Would you?" 

"Of course," Jess replied. 

Diane smiled. "Good luck, Alex. We'll miss you."

He nodded, uncomfortably. "Thank you. And, ah, I'm sorry – about what I said. About Ric. And the baby."

"That's fine," Diane replied. "And, ah, the baby's Steve's, if you want to know."

"Steve?" Alex repeated. "I… I'm sorry. I didn't know that you two were…"

"We weren't." She walked off abruptly, not wanting to talk about Steve, and not wanting to see Alex go.

***~*~***

"Hey," Anita greeted Tom. "You're late."

"It's always worrying when I get let into my own house by the woman who I'm having a date with," Tom commented.

"Josie let me in," Anita explained. 

"Where is she?" Tom queried.

"Gone to bed early… well, it's not that early, is it? Eleven." She pushed open the door to the kitchen, where the table was set, complete with candles and wineglasses of water. "I cooked."

"Didn't know you could cook," Tom replied, taking off his jacket.

"Well, Josie and I cooked," conceded Anita. "I'm not that hot at cooking." She sat down. "Hungry?"

"Famished."

"Good, because Josie worked really hard at this," she said, giggling.

"What did you do, then?" he asked.

"I got the plates out," she replied, as they picked up their knives and forks. "Wait… before you start. I want to say something."

"Go ahead," Tom nodded.

"I… I've really enjoyed these two weeks," she said, haltingly. "I've never known anyone like you. And… well, what I'm trying to say is, ah… I'm in love with you, Tom."

Tom, who had been looking anxious at the start of Anita's speech, relaxed. "I… thank you." He stood up, and went to her. He pulled her out of her chair so that she was level with him, and whispered to her. "I love you, too." Then he kissed her.

Neither of them cared that their dinner went cold while they were occupying themselves in other ways.

***~*~***

"Well, that's it," Jess said, as Diane let her into her flat that evening. "Alex is gone."

"How did it go?" Diane asked, anxiously.

"They got your friend Ethan down there, and he confirmed it," Jess replied. "Campbell-Gore said that there was no need for Alex to work out his notice – he's gone."

"Who's there?" Ric called, lazily.

Jess started. "Oh… I didn't disturb anything, did I?"

"We're watching TV with the cat," Diane replied. "It's a thrilling evening." She led Jess into the living area, and they sat down.

"Don't tell me you've come here to ask for money," Ric sighed.

"No. I came to tell Diane… something."

"Something you'd care to share with the group at large?" Ric queried.

"Alex Adams quit," Jess answered. Ric, who had been reclining lazily, sat up suddenly. Mitsy, rudely awakened, went to Diane for comfort.

"He quit? Why?"

Diane spoke softly. "He's got Parkinson's."

"Parkinson's?" Ric repeated. 

"Yeah," Jess replied. "He handed in his resignation today." She paused. "And I know that you won't exactly be happy about it, Dad, but he asked me out, and I said yes."

"I'm not happy," Ric agreed. "But it's your life. I can't stop you seeing him."

"Congratulations," Diane chimed in. "I'm happy for you."

"Yeah, so'm I," Jess said, leaning back in her chair.

"We're not going to get rid of her now," Ric whispered to Diane. "Once she sits like that in front of the TV, she's there for keeps."

Diane laughed. "Never mind. If you can put up with my child – and Mitsy – then surely I can put up with Jess."


	5. Not Going Down

Well… there's a big leap now. It's suddenly about four months in the future… making it October. We'll make it October 6th, so it can be my birthday, and the day that my cousin's baby is due to be born. That sounds good. Mind you, my birthday is on a Monday this year. Oh well. It's the start of October, anyway.

And I know that Anita never seems to walk normally around the hospital – she always bumps into people. She must be very clumsy.

___________________________

Diane wandered into Keller ward. "Morning Kath," she greeted her friend chirpily.

"Morning," Kath replied, looking up from the papers she was holding. "Where's Ric?"

"At the Hadlington," Diane said, collapsing into a chair. The lift had been full, and walking up three flights of stairs was not easy, especially because she was nearly seven months pregnant. "I had to drive myself," she added, pouting.

"You did it for a year before you finally snatched him up," Kath told her. "Why's it different now?"

"Firstly, I'm not used to it, and secondly, I'm pregnant."

"And thirdly, you're lazy," Chrissie put in, appearing behind them. Her maternity leave had finished two weeks ago, and she was back on the ward, making her presence felt. Tricia was looking after baby Manda.

"Coming from the woman who always makes her husband drive her in, that really kicks," Diane teased.

"Owen doesn't mind."

"Nor does Ric," Diane replied, resting one hand on her stomach. She removed her hand quickly as the baby kicked. "If we're coming from the same house to the same hospital at the same time, it makes sense." She reached over and grabbed some papers from the desk. "What am I doing today?"

"I bet that you'll spend at least five minutes trying to get out of that chair," Chrissie said, remembering the last few months of her pregnancy with Amanda. 

"How much?" Diane queried. She knew perfectly well that she could stand up in seconds, but she didn't mind the idea of making some easy money from Chrissie.

Chrissie was a bit startled, but replied with, "Ten pounds?"

"You're on," Diane replied, standing up easily. "Thanks," she added, holding out her hand for the money. Chrissie grumbled, but handed over a tenner.

Kath smiled as Chrissie left. "That was a bit cruel."

"How?" Diane queried. "She started it. Besides, I need the money. I haven't got anything for the baby yet."

"Maybe you haven't noticed that Ric is rich?"

Diane laughed. "He's still paying Jess' way. I can't expect him to pay for me and for a baby who's no relation to him."

Kath smiled. "You make it sound as though you've just found a baby on the street and are asking Ric to pay for it."

"Ah, excuse me?" a patient asked. Diane sat down and began looking at her papers again, and Kath turned to the patient.

"Yes?"

"I'm David Lloyd," the man said. Diane's head shot up suddenly, and she gasped. "I'm due in today."

"Okay, Mr Lloyd," Kath replied. "You're in bed six… I'll show you where it is." Diane tried to hide her face as Kath and the patient passed by. She had to get away from the ward. She waited until they couldn't see her any longer, and stumbled into the lift, pressing the first button that she saw.

***~*~***

Jess glared at the woman in the bed. "Cantankerous old…"

"Watch your language," Lisa warned her. "What's she done now?"

"Mrs Mills doesn't think I'm qualified, and would prefer to see a doctor," Jess snapped, shooting the woman such as vicious look that, if looks could kill, she would certainly have dropped dead.

"What?" Lisa exclaimed. "That's disgraceful!"

"It's what she said." Jess sighed. "I don't care if she's seventy-five years old. I'm not helping her any more."

"Jess, she's old…" Lisa tried to placate her.

"So?"

"She needs us to do everything for her, she's helpless, poor woman," Lisa continued, although it was hard with Jess glaring. 

"She has made it quite clear that she doesn't want me helping her," Jess replied, stalking off.

***~*~***

Diane stumbled out of the lift, and looked around. 'Psychiatry' one sign read, pointing to the left, and 'Neurology', the other one pointed to the right. Neurology – that was Ethan. She could escape there for a while. But she would have to explain herself. It would be just as safe to walk around, looking busy.

She was so busy trying to look busy that she didn't watch where she was going, and walked into someone. "Sorry," she stammered, gathering up the papers she'd dropped.

"That's okay," replied a voice with a faint Scottish accent. "I seem to walk into people a lot." Diane looked up and saw someone who looked vaguely familiar.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asked, awkwardly.

"I'm Anita Forbes… I don't think so," was the reply. "I'm usually pretty good with remembering, and I don't remember you."

Diane thought for a moment. "You were the psychiatrist who saw Steve Waring, weren't you?" 

Anita nodded. "Yeah, that's me. How is he? I never saw him after that first session. He's a nurse here, isn't he?"

Diane paused. "He, ah, died… about five months ago."

"Oh… I'm so sorry," Anita replied. "Ah… sorry, but who are you?"

"Sorry, I'm Diane Lloyd."

"Ric Griffin's girlfriend?" Anita queried. She knew a lot about the staff that Tom worked with, but had never met any of them.

"How do you know that?" Diane asked, confused.

"I'm… rather cosy with Tom Campbell-Gore."

"Ah." Diane nodded, and began walking alongside Anita.

"Were you, um, very close to Steve?" Anita asked, tentatively.

Diane put one hand on her stomach. "He's the father."

"Oh. I'm very sorry," Anita replied, awkwardly. "So, ah… why are you up here?"

"I'm… just come for a walk," Diane lied.

"And you took the lift?" 

"I'm lazy," Diane defended herself. "It's very hard to walk up and down stairs when you're pregnant."

"I can imagine," Anita said, privately thinking that Diane was a little strange. "Well, I've got an appointment. Nice to meet you, Diane."

"You too," Diane replied, watching Anita walk away. She seemed nice… a bit too familiar, and it was worrying knowing that Tom Campbell-Gore was telling details of her relationship with Ric, but quite nice all the same.

But it was probably best to move away from this floor. What was to say that Anita wasn't an example of all psychiatrists? If they were all that nosy, then she would be better off on another floor. 

***~*~***

"There you go, Mr Lloyd," Kath said, settling the patient in the bed. He looked about sixty, and seemed to be perfectly healthy. "You're here… under observation, aren't you?"

"Just under observation," he replied. "Apparently my GP thinks I have some… illness." He shook his head. "I don't understand all this medical jargon. My daughter would. She's a doctor, you know."

"Is she?" Kath queried absently, as she flicked through his notes.

"Haven't seen her for years, though," Mr Lloyd continued.

"That's a pity. My son Danny, he lives in Australia now – he moved there a few weeks back," Kath said, softly. "I miss him already. Where does your daughter live?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. She used to live in London, but… It's been nearly ten years since I heard from her. She left when my wife died."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kath replied, sympathetically. 

He sighed. "I've got used to it."

Kath nodded. "I've got to go… press that button if you need anything, alright, Mr Lloyd?"

"Will do."

As Kath arrived back at the nurses' station, she noticed that Diane had vanished. "Sandy?" she called, and Sandy scurried over.

"What is it?"

"Have you seen Diane?" 

Sandy thought. "Ah… she hurried off when you were seeing to that man. She looked a bit funny – a bit sick, maybe? I thought she went to find Mr Griffin."

"Thanks." Kath sighed.

***~*~***

A few hours later, Ric strolled easily into AAU, to see Jess sulking at the nurses' station.

"What now?" he asked his daughter.

"Mrs Mills," she scowled.

"Who?"

"She's a cranky patient," Lisa explained. 

"Jess, you have to not let the patients get to you," Ric scolded gently.

"This one's worse than normal," Jess replied. "She told me that she didn't think I was qualified. Pretty much that she didn't think I was good enough. She wanted to see a 'doctor'," she added, making quote marks with her fingers.

"What's the matter with her?" Ric queried.

"Car crash," Lisa replied. "Compound fracture of the right leg, and she blacked out for nearly an hour after it happened. She's seventy-five, too, so…"

"Okay," Ric agreed, taking the notes that Lisa handed him. "Where's Diane?"

Jess shrugged. "I haven't seen her. I think she was on Keller for most of today."

"I'll see to this Mrs Mills, then I'll find her." Lisa led the way to Mrs Mills.

"Mrs Mills?"

"That's me," she replied. "Are you a doctor?"

"Yes, I am," he answered, smiling. "Your leg?"

"It's darn painful," she said vehemently, causing Lisa to have to turn away to hide her giggles. "Now, will you be doing something about the pain, or can I have some paracetamol?"

"We can give you morphine, but I'm afraid you will need surgery to set the leg, so you'll be nil by mouth," Ric replied, after examining the leg.

"Surgery?" Mrs Mills repeated. "An operation?"

"I'm afraid so. The risks are minimal, don't worry," Ric replied, smiling. "There is no alternative. If we leave your leg like this, it may get infected."

"And having this operation would stop it hurting?"

"That's right."

"Then you may do it," Mrs Mills said, graciously. "It will be you who does it? Not that young girl over there?" she added, pointing at Jess.

"I can safely promise that I will not let my daughter perform the operation," Ric said, trying to hold back laughter. "I'll be back to check on you in an hour or so."

***~*~***

"Have you seen Diane?" Ric demanded, charging into Keller ward.

Kath looked up abruptly. "I thought she was with you."

"She's not here?"

"Not that I know of," Kath replied. "She disappeared a few hours ago. I was seeing to a patient and she left."

"After taking my ten pounds," Chrissie chimed in. Off Ric's look, she continued, "I bet her that it would take her a long time to get up from her chair. She found it really easy."

"She does that," Ric agreed. "So you don't know where she is?"

"She was going into the lift," Sandy commented.

"What floor?" But Sandy just shrugged. Ric sighed, and paged Diane.

***~*~***

Diane, wandering about the grounds of the hospital, was startled when her pager started beeping. Upon noticing that it was from Ric, she sighed and took herself inside as quickly as she could. Five minutes later, she tentatively stepped out of the lift onto Keller ward.

"If that had been an emergency, the patient would be dead," Ric told her, smiling.

"I can't run." She looked around nervously. Was he still there?

"Are you alright, Diane?" he asked. "Diane?" he added, as she didn't reply.

She looked up at him. "Yeah?"

"What's the matter?" he queried, pulling her over to a chair and sitting her down. "Are you alright?" He sat down next to her, and put an arm around her.

"I'm fine."

"You're not. Talk to me," he pleaded.

"Really, Ric, it's nothing," she said, desperately trying to make it seem so in her own mind. 

"Don't you trust me, Diane?" he asked, hurt.

She sighed. "Of course I trust you. I love you."

"And I love you, but something's troubling you. Don't lie to me – I've known you for a long time. I can tell when something's wrong."

She pointed to the patient from earlier. "Look at him. Does he look familiar to you?"

Ric followed her gaze. "A little bit. Why?"

"If I told you his name was David Lloyd…" she continued, toying with a loose thread on Ric's jacket, deliberately not looking at him.

"Lloyd?" Ric repeated. "Diane, is he…?"

"My father?" She nodded. "Yeah… I just had to get away for a bit, Ric. I couldn't be around him. He scares me. He makes me sick."

"He makes me sick, too, Diane," Ric replied. "How anyone could do what he did…"

"Don't say anything," she begged. "Please. Don't tell Kath or anyone, don't tell her what he did to me."

"I never would," he promised, kissing her. "Are you okay to carry on?"

"Yes. Just – don't make me see him," she said, desperately. "I can't see him, I can't talk to him, Ric, I can't, I can't!" She was almost hysterical, tears filling her eyes. Ric held her close to him for a moment. 

"I won't. I promise, Diane," he said, softly. "You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do."

"Thanks," she choked out. 

"Ric?" Kath called, coming over. She shot a curious glance at Diane, who was teary-eyed and upset, but didn't say anything. "There's a new patient, here for observation, a Mr Lloyd… would you have a look at him?"

Diane turned away. She didn't care whether her father was ill or dying, she just wanted to be away from him. "I…" she began, but Ric nodded. He helped her up, and she walked off as quickly as possible.

"What's the matter with her?" Kath queried.

Ric shook his head. "I can't say, I'm afraid. Would you ask someone else to look at Mr Lloyd? I don't think I'd be able to be civil to him."

"Is he related to Diane?" Kath questioned. "He's her father, isn't he?" Ric nodded slowly. "Do you know, she hasn't been in contact with him for ten years?"

"She had her reasons," Ric replied. "She was a mess when her mother died. I was there. Just don't tell Mr Lloyd that Diane is here. Could you ask Tom Campbell-Gore to have a look at Mr Lloyd?"

"Why?" 

"Let's just say that there's a clash of personalities," Ric answered, shortly. "If I could say more, Kath, I would, but I promised Diane."

"I'll get Mr Campbell-Gore," Kath replied. As she made her way over to the phone, she spoke again. "Is Diane okay?"

"It was just a shock… seeing him again," Ric said. After all, it was nearly true. He just wished that it were entirely true.

***~*~***

"I'll see you in theatre, Mrs Mills," Ric announced. He crept up behind Diane, who was talking to Jess, and put his arms around her waist, causing her to scream.

"Ric!"

"Diane!" he mimicked, kissing her. Jess made a retching sound.

"Do you have to do that in front of me?"

"Yes," Ric replied, kissing Diane again.

"Put her down," Lisa laughed, walking past.

"We've got to get to theatre," Ric told Diane.

"What are we doing?" she queried, as they walked off.

"Operating," Ric teased her. "Joke. Mrs Mills, seventy-five, broken leg."

"Ouch."

"And we have the fun of setting it."

"How generous of her."

***~*~***

"So, Mr Lloyd," Tom began. "Any pain?"

"No… do you have any idea what's wrong with me?" Mr Lloyd asked.

"Well, it's believed to be…"

"Wait. No technical language," Mr Lloyd commanded. "That's my daughter's area, not mine."

"Is your daughter a doctor?" Tom queried.

"A damn good one, I'm sure," Mr Lloyd replied. "I ain't seen her much, not since she was eighteen, but she was good at whatever she did. She'll be one hell of a doctor."

"I've got a daughter… Josie. I only met her recently, but she's a great girl. What's your daughter's name?" asked Tom, absently. 

"Diane," Mr Lloyd said, lying back down.

"Diane Lloyd?" 

"Do you know her?"

"She works here," Tom replied. "She's the general surgical registrar. Would you rather she saw you?"

"That'd be nice."

"I think she's in theatre at the moment, but she should be out within a few hours," Tom considered. "I'll tell her to come and see you when she's done, if you want."

"Thank you," Mr Lloyd replied, smiling. "It's been near on ten years since I saw Di, you know, Mr Campbell-Gore."

"Ten years?" Tom repeated, shocked. Diane didn't seem like the sort to neglect family. Although, thinking about it, he couldn't remember ever hearing her speak about her family.

"I'm not blaming her. It's a hard life for a student, and I'm sure it's no easier for a doctor. But a phone call wouldn't have gone amiss, especially after her mum died. She's all the family I've got."

"I'll tell her."

And so it was that, three hours later, as Diane and Ric emerged from theatre, Tom greeted them. "Do you know your dad's here, Diane?" he asked.

She turned away abruptly. "I don't have a dad."

"Well, there's a David Lloyd up on Keller ward who wants to see you," Tom replied.

"How does he know that she's here?" Ric demanded.

"I told him. He mentioned that his daughter was called Diane, and I told him that she works here," Tom said. "Is something the matter?"

"That's one way of putting it," Diane muttered, leaning against Ric for support. "I can't believe this. I have to see him?"

"He said that he'd like to see you."

"I'll bet he did," she returned, bitterly. Tom, somewhat confused, left, leaving Diane and Ric alone to think. "What am I going to do, Ric?" she asked. "What the hell am I going to do?"

***~*~***

"How's that, Mrs Mills?" Lisa asked the woman, who was rapidly gaining consciousness.

"Hello."

"Any pain, Mrs Mills?" Lisa queried, preparing to adjust the morphine drip.

"No dear."

"Alright then. Just call me if you have any problems," Lisa replied, turning away.

"She's fine with you," Jess commented. "You're only a nurse too."

"Some people are just like that," Lisa said, sighing. "Don't let it get to you."

"That's fine for you to say. She's not got a vendetta against you."

"And she hasn't got one against you," Lisa replied, turning to pick up the phone.

Jess grumbled to herself as Lisa walked off. She'd not slept much the previous night, after an argument with Alex. He had stormed out, and she'd spent the night worrying about him. He'd finally called just before she left for work, fine, but by then the damage had been done, and she'd not slept at all. She was tired, but she knew that that evening, she had plans with Ric and Diane. She sighed, and laid her head down on her arms. She just wanted to sleep – block out the world. She'd cancel her plans. She just wanted to sleep.

***~*~***

"I'll see him."

Ric, sitting beside Diane, looked up abruptly. "What?"

"I said, I'll see him," she repeated.

"Are you sure?" he queried, concerned.

"Yeah… I'll do it, it can be like closure, you know? But I want to do it now," she added. "Get it over with. It's the end of the day, I just want to go home."

Ric helped her up, and they walked into Keller ward. As they approached the doors, Diane stopped abruptly. "Are you alright?" Ric asked, gently.

She moaned in frustration. "It's stupid. How come I'm so scared by him?"

"You've been through a lot, Diane. Don't feel that you have to rush yourself."

"I thought that when I came here, when I left home, I thought I was safe, you know? And now… I'm not. He's here." She looked down, and saw her pregnant stomach, the one thing above all that she had to protect. She turned to Ric. "Do I look very obviously pregnant?"

Ric couldn't lie. Diane was normally quite thin, so pregnancy had changed her a lot. "I'm afraid you do. Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't want him to know," was all she said, trying to think of a way to disguise her bump. "Is there any excuse I could make?"

"You eat a lot?" he suggested. She sighed and folded her arms across her stomach, shooting him a hopeful look. "It looks like you've folded your arms across your pregnant stomach, Diane. You can't hide being seven months pregnant."

"Maybe he won't ask." She took a tight hold of Ric's hand, suddenly scared. Guessing how she felt, he put an arm around her, letting her lean against him for support.

***~*~***

Tom, passing by Anita's office, looked in. "Hi."

"Hey," she replied. "Skiving?"

"No…"

"Sure. Come in, by the way," she added. "Always nice to see you."

"I wondered why you spent so many evenings at my house," he joked.

"Josie's good company," she teased, playing along with him. As he sat down, she thought of something. "I met Diane Lloyd today. Bit odd, isn't she?"

"Diane?" Tom thought about it. "She's not weird… I've never noticed, anyway."

"She acted a bit odd… ah well." Anita shrugged it off. "S'pose she's allowed to. She's pregnant and everything."

"Want to go out tonight?" Tom queried.

"Out?" Anita repeated. "You mean not just over at your place with a lasagne that Josie cooked?" 

"I mean _out_, yes. A proper date for once, at a restaurant," he replied. "And you better say yes, because I've already booked."

She jokingly took out her diary and flicked through a few pages, before smiling. "Yeah, I'm free. I'll meet you back at your place."

"Eight o'clock alright for you?" Tom asked, getting up.

"I finish at six, so I'll have time to change… eight sounds good," Anita replied. "You're off already?" she asked, as he kissed her and made for the door. "See ya."

***~*~***

"I thought you'd have gone home," Chrissie commented, as Diane and Ric walked past, Diane still holding on to Ric for support.

"No… there's something I have to do first," Diane replied. Chrissie shrugged and walked off. 

"See ya tomorrow." She turned back. "Hey, tomorrow's your last day, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Well, have fun."

Ric smiled. "I'll miss you when you go for your maternity leave. You're the best registrar I've ever had."

"I'm the only one who'll sleep with you, you mean," Diane corrected him.

"That too," he agreed. "Are you alright?"

Diane nodded as they approached the cubicle where Mr Lloyd was. Suddenly she turned to Ric. "I can't… I can't, Ric, I just…"

"Whatever you want to do, I'll be there," he promised, hugging her and kissing her hair.

"Thanks," she whispered. She took a deep breath, and pushed Ric in front of her slightly. He obligingly went into the cubicle, and Diane followed, staring at the man who had taken away her life.

"Hello," Mr Lloyd greeted her, brightly.

"How can you sit there and say that so calmly?" she demanded. Whatever she had expected to see, it hadn't been this. She hadn't expected him to ignore the hurt he had caused her.

"You're pregnant," he noticed. "Congratulations. Is he the father?" nodding towards Ric.

"That's none of your business!" Diane replied, sharply.

"So he isn't." Mr Lloyd sighed. "I'm disappointed, Di."

"Don't call me that," she said, weakly. Ric tightened his hold on her; she looked as though she might faint.

"You never used to mind."

"You mean I never said anything," she retorted. "I never said anything about a lot of things, did I, Dad?" She spat out the word, as though it were rude. And, as she said it, she wanted to hurt him, hurt him like he'd hurt her. But she knew that she could never do that. Nothing could make up for the ten years she had spent, living in fear, or for the following years, where she had pushed everyone away. All the years she had lost Ric for.

"I – I don't know what you're talking about," he lied. It was obvious that he was lying. 

"You don't remember hitting me?" Diane demanded. "Kicking me? Punching me? Making me sick? Do you remember the day I broke my leg? The day I dislocated my shoulder?" Tears were falling down her cheeks, and she was speaking so loudly that she knew everyone could hear, she knew that Kath and Chrissie and Sandy were all probably listening, but she didn't care. For once, she didn't care. She had spent so many years living in fear of this man, hating him, not daring to so much as breathe in his presence. It was such a release to be able to shout at him, to tell him what she thought of him.

"Don't, Di," he pleaded, almost crying.

It was that name. That name, the name he had called her all those times, when he was hurting her, when he was telling her how much he hated her, and he was using it again. And it made her feel ten years old all over again. It meant that he was winning, when she felt like that. She had been in control, but the moment he called her 'Di', she knew that she would never be stronger than him. He would always be able to control her.

"That's not my name." She was trying so hard to be strong, but she could feel herself falling apart. 

"It was your name when you were a little girl," he replied.

"I'm not a child any more. I'm twenty eight," she said, trying to sound brave and strong.

"You're still my little girl, Di."

She wanted to shout and scream and hit him, but she didn't dare. How could he be so patronising? She glanced helplessly at Ric, wanting him to save her, yet not wanting to need to be saved.

"Doesn't it show something that she hasn't visited you in ten years?" Ric asked, answering Diane's silent plea. "Maybe she doesn't want to be your little girl any more."

"I never wanted to be your little girl," she whispered, wanting to speak louder, but unable to. As he opened his mouth to speak, she suddenly found strength, thinking about what she wanted to say. "I never was your little girl. I was your punch bag, wasn't I?" His eyes closed, she'd hit home. It felt good. "You never cared about me. Never. I don't know how you dare to call yourself my father. I'm not even a parent yet, but I can't imagine ever being able to raise a hand to my child. That disgusts me… how could you hurt a defenceless child? That disgusts me… YOU disgust me. I hope I never have to see you again, because if I do, one of us will end up dead," she finished, viciously.

Ric looked at her with admiration. She suddenly turned round abruptly, and left, wanting to have had the last word. Ric followed her. Tears were running down her cheeks and she was breathless, looking upset and angry. She tried to calm down as Ric approached her. "Thank you – for being there for me."

"Do you feel better?" Ric queried.

She nodded, wiping her eyes. "It… I needed to do it. I've needed to do it for twenty years." She smiled suddenly. "And I've done it. I told him."

****

**I'm gonna hold on**

**_'Cause what I believe in is so strong_**

**_No matter how long, no one_**

**_Can tell me I'm wrong_**

I ain't goin' down 

**_You won't find me   
Naked and cold justa sittin'   
on the doctor's table   
Waitin' to be told justa why   
I'm no longer able   
To feel my heart beatin'--   
give me a good reason why!_**

***~*~***

Anita and Tom were on their date. They usually preferred to stay in, either at Anita's, or at Tom's, because Josie would obligingly retreat to her room. At home, there were fewer chances for Tom to be tempted by alcohol. But tonight, they were at a restaurant – a smart restaurant. Tom had a reason for doing it – other than the fact that Josie had forced him to do so. But Anita just thought that it was a nice change of pace.

"This is posh," Anita commented, as she looked down the menu. "And expensive," she added. 

"I'm paying, don't worry."

She smiled. "Right, what's the most expensive thing on here?" She laughed. "Joking, don't worry."

"If you order anything over ten pounds, I might have to take back my offer," Tom teased. "I used to have a lot of money saved away, but you and Josie seem to have taken a lot of it over."

"Well, you're just being a doting father and a loving boyfriend, aren't you?" Anita smiled.

"No, I think I'm being bled dry by two sly and conniving women," he countered. "It's amazing how you do it."

"It's a skill," Anita replied. "Besides, you don't mind really."

"No, you're right. I'd much rather be broke and have you and Josie, than be filthy rich and have no one except a bottle of vodka." He smiled at her. "I have not touched a drop of alcohol since the day that I met you, Anita." 

"I don't think that I can take the credit for that."

"I think you can. I'm doing it for you – and for Josie. Before, I had no one to keep clean for. Now there's you," he said, slightly shyly. Anita was blushing, but she was looking right into his eyes, and that gave him strength. "And… well, I want that to always be true," he continued, taking the little box out of his pocket and kneeling by her chair. "Anita, will you marry me?"

Her eyes widened. She hadn't expected this at all. But she barely had to consider her answer. "I'd love to," she whispered, letting him put the ring on her finger.

***~*~***

"Do I still have feet?" Diane asked, idly. She and Ric (and Mitsy) were in the kitchen at her flat, where Diane was making herself a cup of tea. 

Ric gave her a strange look. "I'd imagine so."

"That's a relief. I haven't seen them for a few weeks," Diane replied. She sank into a chair. "This is tiring."

"What is?"

"Pregnancy. I don't know how I'm going to last another two months," she said, trying to keep the whiny note out of her voice.

"Well, you start your maternity leave tomorrow," Ric told her. "You can have some rest then."

Diane laughed. "Do you realise how much I need to do before the baby is born? I have to move Mitsy and myself into your house, buy all the furniture for the baby, baby-proof your house…"

"Do you realise that I will be doing most of that?" Ric countered. "Alex has volunteered to help as well."

"You can't let him do that," Diane replied, scandalised. "He shouldn't be doing heavy work!"

"He won't be doing heavy work," Ric told her. "Don't worry. I might not like him that much, but I wouldn't harm him. Jess and I will be doing the heavy work. You and Alex can rest and do the easy jobs."

"Like what?"

Ric thought. "Alex can paint."

"And I can't?" she demanded.

"The fumes," he explained. "And the smell. You get to dictate where everything goes. You should be good at that."

"I'd have done that anyway," she replied, smiling. Ric chuckled, and there was a pause as Diane drank her tea. "So when are we moving?"

"We? You're the only one who's moving," Ric corrected her.

"You've barely left my flat since July," Diane commented. "We're only going back to yours because there's more room for the baby there. When, anyway?"

"I was thinking Saturday," Ric replied. 

"Today's Thursday!" Diane exclaimed. "Saturday? Are you sure?"

"Perfectly. The sooner you move in, the sooner we can get things ready for the baby," Ric explained himself. "And be sure, if you aren't ready for this baby, it will come. Jess came on the day that we were about to buy the furniture. I had to rush to get everything ready for the day she came home."

"I've got two and a half months," Diane replied. "We could have everything ready in about three weeks, if we try."

"We can do that," Ric agreed, sitting down next to her. "And this is only the beginning."


	6. Last Rites

"It's my last day," Diane announced, slightly sadly, as she turned the light on. 

"It's early," Ric mumbled, closing his eyes against the glare. Next to him, Mitsy scrambled off the bed and hurried to the door, eagerly waiting for breakfast. 

"It's seven," she replied.

"It's early," Ric repeated. "We don't have to be in until ten."

"I'm getting up." Ric pulled the pillow over his head as Diane hauled herself out of bed and pulled the covers off.

"Why do you always do that?" he demanded, as she removed the pillow. He couldn't remember the last time he had been allowed to wake naturally. Diane, always wide-awake in the mornings, was impatient with Ric's routing of waking up slowly, and often felt the need to "help" him get up. Her idea of help usually involved taking the covers away, or kicking him.

"Because you're lazy." She tried to pull him into a sitting position, but he didn't move. "I need you to help me here."

"Don't pull," Ric said, gently detaching her arms. "I'm up, I'm up," he added, gingerly putting his foot onto the cold floor. "I'll be glad when I'm back at home. Why do you have cold floors?"

"It was never an issue before," she replied. "Besides, I have a rug. Breakfast?"

"So early!" he groaned, following her into the kitchen nevertheless. "How can you be so cheerful so early?"

"How can you be so sleepy?" Diane countered. "You've had eight hours' sleep."

"No, we went to bed eight hours ago," corrected Ric. "And even when you finally decided to go to sleep, I couldn't. I don't think you realise how much noise you make when you sleep."

"I do not snore!" she immediately defended herself.

"I never said you did. You just turn over and over and over – and steal the covers." He accepted the toast she handed him.

"Wimp," she teased, scooping the cat food into Mitsy's dish. "I'd have thought that you could handle a bit of sleep deprivation. There you go," she added to Mitsy, putting the dish down. Mitsy purred gratefully, and settled down to eat.

***~*~***

"I can't believe it's Diane's last day today," Chrissie commented to Kath, as she pushed a patient through the doorway.

"The time's flown by," Kath agreed.

Chrissie nodded. "Mind you, I can't see her staying at home for long. She'll be back the moment Ric lets her."

"I don't know," Kath mused. "I think she might like being a mother more than being a surgeon."

"I certainly would," Chrissie laughed. "I'd hate to be a surgeon – so much blood."

"There's a fair bit of blood in labour," Kath commented.

The patient spoke up. "When my wife had our Billy, I passed out. Too much blood."

"Passed out?" Chrissie repeated, disgustedly. "Really, Mr Wallis?"

"I wasn't allowed to be in the room when Kay arrived," Mr Wallis added. "I'm a bit squeamish, see?"

"Are you?" Kath queried absently, helping him into a bed as Chrissie rushed off to see to another patient. "Mr Griffin should be along to see you at about ten."

"Thank you," he replied, as Kath pulled the covers over him. 

"You're nil by mouth, Melissa," Chrissie said, exasperatedly. "You can't have anything to drink, I'm afraid."

Melissa, a young girl of about sixteen, sighed. "But I'm thirsty."

"All the fluids you need are in the IV, Melissa," Chrissie replied. "If I let you have a drink, you wouldn't be able to have your operation this afternoon."

"Do I look as though I care?" Melissa demanded. "Please? I won't tell anyone?"

"I can't. I'm very sorry, but I can't." Chrissie walked away before Melissa was able to say any more. "Little devil," she muttered to Kath.

"She's just uncomfortable," Kath sympathised. "She's only a child. She's scared and she's taking it out on you."

"Does she have to…?" Chrissie was beginning, when the call button sounded again – this time, from Mr Lloyd's cubicle. "Must we see to him?"

Kath sighed, but started to walk towards the cubicle. "We've just got to treat him as a patient, Chrissie, not as Diane's father."

"Fine," Chrissie replied, shuddering. "Rather you deal with him than me."

***~*~***

"Let's go for a walk," Diane suggested eagerly. She was fully dressed and practically bouncing off the walls, whereas Ric was still in his dressing gown, watching TV on the sofa.

"It's eight o'clock, Diane," he yawned. "It's dark. It's cold."

"It's not dark," she replied, pushing the curtains open. "Look – sunlight. Come on!"

"You get tired walking from the car park to the ward. You'll be exhausted after ten minutes." He was desperately trying to find a way out of this. It was early morning, he'd been woken up two hours too soon, and now she wanted him to do exercise? Ric did understand the importance of exercise, and was as active as anyone, but he resented being pulled out of bed for no reason other than the fact that Diane couldn't sleep.

"I'm not suggesting a marathon, Ric. Please?" She knew that he'd give in eventually. "Just a stroll – down to the park and back. Only ten minutes. Please, Ric, I'm bored!"

"Then read a book," he sighed. But as she turned pleading eyes onto him, he stood up. "Fine. I'll get dressed."

"Thank you!" she squealed. She was squealing a few minutes later too, when they passed the park. "Swings! We have to have a go."

Ric looked vaguely amused. "You're not serious."

"Totally," she replied, sitting down. "Push me, please."

"You're twenty-eight years old, Diane."

"Twenty-nine tomorrow. Can you please push me?" she repeated. Ric, still looking amused, obeyed. Diane laughed. "This is fun!"

"It's also an activity for five-year-olds," Ric retorted, watching her carefully. "You're going a bit high on that."

"Relax," she reassured him. Nonetheless, she did slow down – the height scared her, too. She didn't stop, though. It was too much fun.

***~*~***

"Chrissie!" Kath called desperately, from Mr Lloyd's cubicle. "Need help!"

Chrissie appeared instantaneously, immediately fearing for Kath's safety. It was not in her nature to accept things quietly, and since she had heard Diane shouting at her father the day before, she now had Mr Lloyd dubbed as a psychopathic murderer. 

"Get Ed!" Kath ordered her, before Chrissie even had a chance to take in the fact that Mr Lloyd was unconscious.

Within minutes, Ed had arrived, but it was obvious that resuscitation was impossible. After nearly half an hour, Ed stood back. "Time of death: eight forty-two." He sighed. "Thank you, everyone." He left slowly, leaving Chrissie and Kath alone.

"What happened, Kath?" Chrissie queried, trying to delay the question of Diane.

"He complained of chest pain," Kath began. "And then he blacked out, and I called you."

They were silent for a few seconds, and then Chrissie spoke.

"We should call Diane," Chrissie said, slowly.

"Poor girl."

***~*~***

Diane was still on the swings when Ric's mobile rang. He answered it, motioning for Diane to be quiet.

"Kath?" he asked. "Yes, she's here… do you want to speak to her? Okay… Oh, God, Kath… What happened? I'll tell her… Thank you." He hung up, and looked at Diane, who, in spite of her pregnant stomach, was managing to look as innocent and carefree as a child. He couldn't bear to think that he was about to break that spell.

"Diane?" he said, slowly.

"Yeah?" she replied. "Who was that?"

"Stop for a moment," he told her, trying to stall. 

She dragged her feet on the floor until she came to a stop, and sat waiting expectantly. "Who, then?"

"It was Kath." He stopped, desperately hoping that Diane wouldn't be upset, that she'd be relieved, anything. He hated having to tell her. And yet it was better that it came from him, rather than from Kath or Chrissie. "I'm afraid that – your father – he passed away…" He broke off. "I'm so sorry, Diane."

"Oh." Diane wasn't quite sure what to say. Her first thought had been one of relief. He couldn't get her now. But almost immediately, she had felt a sudden guilt. And she was upset. She wasn't sure why. She felt like she wanted to cry. Only yesterday she had told him that she wanted him to die… '_I hope I never have to see you again, because if I do, one of us will end up dead_'. And now he was. She wasn't sure what to think.

"Are you okay?" Ric asked, gently.

"I – I don't know." She looked up at him. "I'm not upset, it's just a shock… I, just, I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?"

"Everything." Diane shook her head. "Why now? Why today?"

"Kath says that he arrested. They couldn't resuscitate him," Ric replied, knowing that that wasn't what Diane meant. It was all he could offer. But when her eyes filled with tears, he offered her what she needed. He let her fall into his arms.

***~*~***

Tom was late. It wasn't his fault, he told himself. He'd got engaged the previous night – surely that was a good enough excuse for being slightly behind schedule? Anita had just taken the day off. She had only had one appointment, at nine o'clock, and she claimed to be "too tired" to attend. Tom knew that the moment he'd left, she would be telling Josie everything that had happened the previous night – well, the proposal, anyway. But he couldn't take a day off. If Anita took a day off, people just rescheduled their appointments. If he took a day off, people died. 

"You look happy," Ed remarked, catching up with him.

"I have my reasons," Tom replied. He wasn't going to add any more, but he couldn't keep it to himself any longer. "I asked Anita to marry me last night. She said yes."

"Congratulations," Ed responded, immediately. "Sounds like you're having a better day than me, then."

"What happened to you?" Tom queried.

"Already lost one patient," Ed said, shortly. "Not just any patient, either. Diane Lloyd's dad."

Tom made a face. "Has she been told yet?"

"Kath rang Ric. He'll tell her. It's probably better coming from him than from one of us."

"Poor Diane. It's not news I'd like to hear – it's her last day today, isn't it?" Tom commented.

"Her leaving party's tonight, anyway," Ed agreed. "I assume that you'll be bringing the wonderful Anita?"

"Of course."

"Well, I have a date too, as a matter of fact," replied Ed. 

"Who?" Tom asked, intrigued.

"Tricia Williams," Ed answered, trying not to look as embarrassed as he felt.

"Chrissie's mother?"

"Yeah. Why shouldn't I date her? Now I think you've got a patient, Melissa something, she's kicking up a fuss about being nil by mouth," Ed said quickly, trying to change the subject.

"She's barely past being in paediatrics," Tom replied. "Sixteen, but she needs a specialist. Well, we'd best go and see to her."

"Can I have a drink?" was the first thing that Melissa said.

"I'm afraid not," was Tom's answer. "You'll be able to have a drink when your operation's over."

"But I'm thirsty," Melissa whined.

"You're getting all the liquid you need from the IV," Tom told her. "You'll go down to theatre in twenty minutes, anyway."

"Fine," she pouted.

Tom left, and immediately turned to Ed. "That child is awful. What have her parents taught her?"

"So says the man who didn't know he had a daughter until she was twenty."

***~*~***

"I wish people wouldn't _stare_," Diane told Ric, as they walked through the corridor. "They're all looking at me."

"They're not," Ric lied, trying to make her feel better. She smiled at him, appreciating the gesture.

"Diane," Kath said, coming over to them. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just a shock, you know? Unexpected and all that. He was only in his fifties." Diane shrugged. "I think I'd have been fine if it had happened before I saw him." 

Kath nodded, unsure of what to say. "Erm, there's a patient for you to see – a Mr Wallis."

"John Wallis?" Ric queried. "Good. Have you got his notes?"

Kath handed them over. "Here you go."

"John?" Ric greeted Mr Wallis.

"Mr Griffin, hi." 

"This is Diane Lloyd," Ric introduced Diane, as she wandered into the cubicle, looking around warily for her father's body. She didn't want to see it. There was no reason as to why she would see it, but, for some reason, she was suddenly afraid.

"Hi," she said, absently.

"So, do you have any questions?" Ric queried, once he'd explained the ins and outs of Mr Wallis' operation. He was having his gall bladder removed.

"No… don't think so."

"Alright, then, we'll see you in theatre," Ric replied, taking Diane's arm and steering her out of the room. "Are you alright?" he asked her, gently.

"His body… it's here somewhere, isn't it?" she said, shuddering. 

"I don't know." Ric paused. "He can't hurt you anymore, Diane. He's gone."

"I know… it's just…" She shivered. "I don't know. It's nothing."

"Sure?" She nodded. "Would you feel better if you were somewhere else?"

"Are you going to send me home?" she demanded.

"No," he replied. "I mean, would you rather do some paperwork in my office?" He had expected her to disagree instantly, and was surprised when she nodded.

"Only for a little while, though," she added. "I don't want to skive off my entire last day."

"What makes you think that I'd let you?" he laughed.

***~*~***

Josie was camped outside the bedroom door, waiting for Anita to emerge. She looked at her watch. Eleven-thirty? Was she planning to spend the entire day in bed?

Suddenly the door opened. Anita, looking sleepy, was shocked to see Josie, leaning against the banister. "So?" Josie demanded.

"What?" Anita queried, puzzled.

"What happened? With you and Dad? Last night?" Josie questioned eagerly, almost bouncing up and down in her excitement.

"I thought you had to be arrested to have the pleasure of answering this many questions," Anita replied, making her way to the kitchen.

"Anita!" Josie complained. "Come on! Tell me!"

Anita laughed. "Fine. Doubt I could keep it to myself much longer, anyway, Jo." She stuck out her hand. "Lookie!" she ordered, waggling her fourth finger. "Engagement ring."

"Oh my God! You're engaged!" Josie squealed. She thought. "Hey, you're going to be my step mother!"

"Eeshk," Anita mumbled, through a mouthful of toast. "I may have to call it off."

"Aw, I'll be good, I promise. Just don't turn all evil on me," Josie replied.

"I won't," Anita promised. 

"So, when's the wedding?"

Anita shrugged. "We only got engaged last night. I always fancied a winter wedding, though. That'd be good." She paused. "But whenever the hell we do it, it'll be perfect."

***~*~***

"So, you and Tricia Williams?" Tom prompted Ed. They were in theatre, nearing the end of Melissa's operation.

"Yeah. Me and Tricia Williams," Ed replied.

Tom waited for Ed to continue. When he didn't, he began asking questions. "When did you ask her?"

"I didn't. She asked me."

Tom sighed impatiently. "Can you not tell me any more? Are you sworn to secrecy or something?"

"What am I meant to tell you?" Ed queried. "She's an attractive woman, she asked me out, I said yes."

"She's older than you, and she's Chrissie's mother."

"You're one to preach about age gaps," Ed retorted. "Aren't you years older than Anita? And weren't you her patient?"

"Yes, and yes. But this is different. We know about my relationship with Anita. We don't know about your relationship with Tricia. Does Chrissie know yet?"

Ed shrugged. "I haven't told her. I expect that Tricia has."

"I think we're done here," Tom said, referring to Melissa. "Do you want to close?"

"Okay." As he began to close, Ed looked at Tom. "You're very gossipy today."

"Must be Anita and Josie's influence." Tom smirked. "Let's wait and see how you turn out after a few months with Tricia."

***~*~***

"I'm bored." Diane pushed the pen and paper away from her as Ric entered.

"You offered to do paperwork," he retorted.

"I didn't realise how long three hours was." She stood up. "Please can we go and cut something up?"

"If you want to cut something up, there's paper and scissors in my desk," he replied. "If you want to operate, then Mr Wallis is being prepped at this very moment."

"As tempting as the offer of paper and scissors is, I think I'll settle for operating," Diane teased. "See you in theatre."

***~*~***

"Mum, Mum," Chrissie hissed, as Tricia walked through Darwin ward. Tricia worked three days a week, and looked after Manda during the other days. Whilst she was working, Chrissie's aunt looked after the baby.

"What?" Tricia asked. "My break finished ten minutes ago."

"I'll be quick," Chrissie promised. "Can you look after Manda tonight?"

"Why?"

"Owen and I want to go to…" she lowered her voice in case Diane was around, "Diane's party tonight. We won't be late back or anything."

Tricia shook her head. "I'm going."

"You don't even know Diane!" Chrissie exclaimed.

"I know that she's having a party," Tricia replied. "Besides," she added, "I've got a date. Nice young man, one of the registrars, Ed Keating. Do you know him?"

"Ed?" Chrissie gasped. "Please tell me you're joking, Mum."

"No, I'm not. Why? Is he an old boyfriend?" Tricia queried.

Chrissie squirmed uncomfortably. "Something like that. You can't go out with Ed, Mum!"

"He's adorable," Tricia protested. "You can't dictate who I see."

"Fine," Chrissie sighed. "I'll get Paula to watch Manda." She looked at Tricia. "I'm not happy about this, though."

"I'm not asking for your approval, Christine," Tricia replied, frostily.

"Good, 'cause I'm not giving it."

***~*~***

"Ah, it's good to be back," Diane sighed happily, as they finished their final operation of the day.

"You've not been away," Ric commented.

"I know. I don't know how I'm going to cope on maternity leave."

"I've heard of career-minded, but you really do take the biscuit," Ric teased.

"I try."

Ric smiled at her. "Ah, Jess wanted to know if we wanted to go for a drink after work… celebrate your leaving, and your birthday, and everything."

"Why not? Might be fun." She paused. "It'll be the first time I've ever celebrated with lemonade."

"You could have orange juice," Ric suggested, causing Diane to smile.

"I could." As they walked out of theatre, she spoke again. "What time does Jess finish?"

"Seven." It was a lie. Jess finished at six. But they'd decided that it would be best for everyone to assemble before Diane arrived. Jess had wanted a big surprise party, and Ric had, for once, agreed. It wasn't his sort of thing, but he could see that Diane would like it. "She wants us to meet her there."

"Okay."

***~*~***

"Are you coming tonight?" Anita asked Josie.

"I don't know the girl who's party it is."

Anita shrugged. "Neither do I. I met her the other day, she seems a bit weird. No, the way I see it is that it's a night out, and your dad's paying."

Josie laughed. "When you put it like that…"

"Besides, it's a chance to get to know all the people he knows," Anita added. "Not that I'm checking up on him or anything."

"Might be a way to make some new friends, I suppose," Josie agreed. "Any cute doctors work there?"

"Yeah, but he's your dad and he's spoken for."

Josie grimaced. "You have weird taste. Any doctors that _I_ might find cute?"

"I don't know. I don't know the people very well." 

"What time's Dad due back?"

Anita looked at her watch. "Twenty minutes. Then we're off. So if you're coming, I'd change."

  


"I'll change then," Josie replied. "Call me when Dad gets here."

"Will do."

***~*~***

It was nearly seven, and Diane was feeling tired. "You know what, Ric? I don't think I'll bother."

Ric panicked. "Come on… just one drink?"

"I'm not in the mood… I'm a bit tired, you know?" She yawned. "Jess will understand."

"You can't be that tired."

"You've obviously never been pregnant." She rested a hand on her bump. "Been kicking all day. Having someone kick you in the stomach from the inside out – tiring."

"Okay…" He thought fast. "Well, I need to just see Jess about something, so just come in with me, yeah? I'll be five minutes, tops."

She nodded, standing up. "I can do that. C'mon."

Ric sighed in relief, and, as they arrived, he gently pushed Diane in front of him. She opened the door, and nearly fell backwards as the crowd yelled, "Surprise!"

She swore under her breath. "Just a quick drink, huh?" she hissed to Ric.

"You're not mad, are you?" Jess asked, appearing.

Diane laughed. "No… it's nice to see that people like me!"

"Happy birthday, Diane! Jess organised it," Lisa remarked, walking past.

"Thanks," Diane replied, hugging Jess. "You're a great friend, you know that?" She rubbed her eyes hurriedly, where tears had begun to well up.

Jess looked embarrassed. Ric, taking pity on her, decided to explain. "Pregnancy hormones. She cries at the least thing."

"I do not!"

"Mention babies," Ric suggested to Jess. At the mere mention of the word, Diane scrubbed her eyes again.

"Kind loving boyfriend, huh?" she demanded, smiling.

"Want a drink?" Ric queried, pushing her over to the bar.

"Yeah, lemon—"

"Lemonade? Do you drink anything other than that?" he asked, smiling. He ordered one, nevertheless, despite Jess' protestations that 'just one' glass of wine wouldn't hurt.

"It probably wouldn't hurt, but it's as well to be careful."

In a little while, Diane was settled in a chair, with half of the party surrounding her – Jess, Ric, Alex, Chrissie, and Kath.

"So, are you ready for the baby?" Chrissie asked.

"Nope," Diane responded, cheerfully. 

"Not at all?" Kath asked.

"I need to move into Ric's before I can start getting ready," Diane explained. "And that's not happening until tomorrow."

"Can you still help?" Ric asked Jess and Alex.

"Sure," Alex agreed, and Jess nodded. "Just… no heavy work?" he added.

"Oh, don't worry. Diane's going to have me doing the heavy work," Ric replied.

"What about names?" Jess asked Diane.

"What about them?" Diane countered.

"Have you chosen any?" Jess persisted.

"I might have done."

"Tell us!" Chrissie pleaded.

"No."

Kath joined in. "Come on, we'd really like to know."

"I dare say, but that doesn't mean I'll tell you."

"What's this? Names?" Ric commented. "Good luck. She won't even tell me what names she's chosen."

"We've got no chance, then," Jess replied, moving away to talk to Lisa.

"That's the right attitude," Diane said, smiling. "I'm not going to tell you, you know," she added to Chrissie and Kath, who were still waiting.

"Fine, fine," Kath replied. "So… do you know whether it's a boy or a girl?"

"Yep," Diane answered, smiling, as her hand found its way to her stomach, and rested there. "I'm not going to tell you that either."

"Does Ric know?" Chrissie asked.

"He does."

Kath smiled. "Ric?" He turned around. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Nice try, Kath, but Diane's sworn me to secrecy on that one. I don't know what she'd do if I told you."

  


"Well, moving in would be off, for starters, babe," Diane teased, smirking. And, as she sat there, surrounded by people who loved her, she almost forgot about her father. All that mattered was that tomorrow, she was moving in with Ric. And in two months, she would be a mother. Nothing else mattered.


	7. Thinking Over

_*sigh* _

_Last part already :(_ _Well, I'd just like to say thank you to all the lovely, lovely people who've been reading and replying to this! You're wonderful._

_______________________________

"Ric?" Diane asked, sitting up in bed.

"Don't tell me that you're so excited about Christmas that you had to wake me up at… one fifteen?" Ric moaned, looking at the clock. "One fifteen. Go back to sleep." He shut his eyes and rolled over.

She hit him. "Ric, I think I'm having the baby."

"You're probably not," he mumbled, half-asleep.

"I think I am. Get up." She gingerly pushed the covers back, and stood up. "Get up!"

"What?" He was awake now. "What's the matter?"

She sighed impatiently. "Do you not listen?" He looked blank, so she carried on. "I'm in labour, Ric. Having a baby, you know? There's a person about to come out of me? Any of that ring a bell? 'Cause it certainly does for me. So can we cut the small talk and get me to the hospital?" She was getting dressed as she spoke.

Ric sat up, yawning. "Diane, relax. You're half-asleep. Calm down."

"Relax?" she repeated, indignantly. "Ric, I know that you have lots of children, you're a doctor, blah-blah-blah, labour is pretty common for you to see, but this is the first time that I have done this, and I would appreciate it if you would get me to hospital."

Ric laughed. "Diane, how do you know that you're having the baby?"

  


"I think I know when I'm in labour." She opened the wardrobe and began flinging clothes at Ric. "Get dressed."

"Firstly, stop crumpling my clothes," Ric told her, getting up. "Secondly, I'm sure that we can wait a while, and thirdly, how do you know that you're in labour?"

Diane's only reply was to draw breath quickly, one hand flying to her stomach, as she sat down heavily on the bed. She winced for a few seconds, and then exhaled heavily. Ric nodded. "Okay. You're having the baby."

"So this is how I get to spend Christmas," she said, slightly sadly.

"Hey, at least you'll get a great present at the end of it," Ric replied, putting an arm around her. "You okay?"

"Tired… and a little bit nervous." 

"You'll be fine." He smiled encouragingly at her. "Do you really want to go to the hospital now, or can you wait a while? Because if you've just started feeling like this, then you're probably in for a few hours' wait."

Diane groaned. "Fine, fine, I'll stay here for a bit." She grinned at him. "Even if the only reason you mentioned that was so you could get some more sleep. I've never known anyone who needs as much sleep as you."

"And I've never known anyone who needs as little sleep as you," Ric retorted. "Do you want to try and get some more sleep?"

"I wouldn't be able to," Diane replied. "I s'pose you'll be going back to sleep, though?"

"Call me if you need me." Ric climbed back into bed as Diane left the room. "I mean it, Diane. I don't mind being woken up each time you have a contraction. And the moment your waters break, promise me that you will come and tell me. Okay?"

"I will," Diane said, smiling. "You're too protective, babe." As she was about to close the door, she turned back. "Merry Christmas, Ric."

"Merry Christmas, Diane."

***~*~***

Anita and Josie were drunk. Very drunk. It was the first time that they'd been drunk in quite a few months – Tom didn't like to have alcohol in the house; it was too much of a temptation for him. But they'd decided that it couldn't hurt, not on Christmas Eve… or Christmas Day, as it was now. Tom, having not touched a drop of alcohol, was enjoying being the sober one for once. He knew that "his girls" would have terrible hangovers, but he was enjoying watching them make fools out of themselves. 

"All gone," Anita announced dismally, as she tipped the empty wine bottle upside down, and watched as nothing fell out.

"Does that tell you something?" Tom asked.

"We need another bottle," Josie giggled, hauling herself up. "I'll get one… whoa!" she added, as she fell over. "Sorry, Nita."

"'S okay," Anita replied, starting to giggle as well. "Help us, Tom."

Tom gently pulled Josie up. "Somehow I don't think you should have more alcohol, okay, girls?"

"Aw…" Anita moaned. "Spoilsport."

"You've drunk four bottles of wine," Tom told them. "You'll have awful hangovers tomorrow."

"It's Christmas, Dad!" Josie replied. 

"And you don't want hangovers on Christmas, do you?" Tom began pulling Anita up. "You're going to bed."

"Are you coming?" Anita asked.

"Yes, I'm coming." 

"Then I'm going to bed," Anita decided, trying her best to walk in a straight line to the stairs.

"Josie, go to bed," Tom told his daughter.

"Do I 'ave to?" Josie mumbled, laying her head back against the sofa. "I'm tired."

"Then go to bed!" 

"Fine." Josie stumbled out of the room. "'Night, Dad, Nita."

Tom watched them carefully as they walked up the stairs – he didn't want a tragedy this Christmas. But they were all soon safely in bed, sleeping soundly. 

***~*~***

An hour and a half later, Diane was curled up on the sofa, talking to Mitsy, and wincing occasionally, as a contraction hit her. 

"I'm a bit scared, Mitsy… I know that it's natural and straightforward and everything, but I just want to be holding the baby and not having to go through labour. It's stupid, I'm a doctor, the rational part of me is saying that there's nothing to worry about, but then there's a part of me that says I'm about to push a human being out of my body and I'm scared. I just keep worrying about stupid things, like what does it feel like? Because no one will tell me, all they say is that it's worth it, and that doesn't help me. And I'm terrified that something's going to go wrong, Mits… I don't know, like the baby won't breathe or something. That's my worst fear, the baby not crying. I don't know what I'd do if that happened. Or what if something happens to me? What if I die? Then who's going to take care of the baby… and of you? Ah…" She broke off as another contraction hit her. She started suddenly as someone touched her shoulder.

"You alright?" It was Ric.

"Yeah… they're coming faster now, though," she replied, breathing heavily. "Have a good sleep?"

"Not really," he said, smiling. "I was worrying about poor old you in here. And then I heard you talking…"

"To the cat," she supplied, a slightly sarcastic tone in her voice.

"You'll be fine, you know," he reassured her. "You won't die, Diane. And I hope you know that even if anything did happen, there would be a queue of people wanting to take care of that baby… me, Jess and Alex, Kath, Chrissie and Owen… And the baby will be fine. I promise you. You'll both be fine. You're going to be a great mother, you know that?" he added, stroking some hair away from her face.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"Now then… do you still want to go to hospital?" Ric asked her. 

She nodded, reaching for his hand, suddenly scared. "It's really happening, isn't it, Ric?"

He hugged her. "C'mon, you knew it had to happen sooner or later. Your due date was day before yesterday, so it looks like this little one is taking after her mummy… always late."

Diane laughed weakly. "Only a day late. Besides, it's the holidays… no one has to keep to schedules."

Ric helped her up, and they made their way to the door.

***~*~***

Chrissie rolled over and opened her eyes… the clock read 3:01. Christmas Day, then. Her first Christmas as Owen's wife, as Amanda's mother. The happiest Christmas of her life. She looked at Owen, sleeping peacefully next to her, snoring softly. She loved him so much. There was Katie, sleeping in the next room. Poor Katie… her mother had died in a car crash just six weeks previously. Chrissie didn't waste time pretending to be sad over the death, but she couldn't help but feel sorry for her stepdaughter. Still a little girl, Katie had had to grow up quickly recently. This Christmas wouldn't be a happy one for her, although she was gradually learning to appreciate Chrissie, and she was now reconciled to the marriage. And then there was the miracle that had made the marriage work. Amanda. Chrissie's beautiful baby girl – no longer a tiny newborn, but a big, bouncing child of six months old. Chrissie smiled, and closed her eyes again. Her life was perfect. And, in nine months, it would be even better, she thought, as she cuddled up to Owen. She was going to give him the best Christmas present ever.

***~*~***

"H'lo?" Jess mumbled into the phone. She was half-asleep… no wonder, considering it was barely half-three in the morning. Next to her, Alex sat up, giving her a quizzical look. "Dad? Is everything alright?" 

"Everything's fine," Ric replied, comfortingly. "Diane insisted that I ring you, though."

"Diane?" Jess repeated. 

"What's the matter?" Alex asked, curiously. Jess swatted him away.

"Nothing's the matter with her, don't worry," Ric continued. "She just decided that the early hours of the morning would be the best time to start having a baby…"

"I didn't decide anything!" Diane cut in, snatching the phone from Ric. "I'll talk to her. You drive."

"Diane?" Jess asked, confused. "What's happening?"

"Well, we're on our way to the hospital, so I'll let you guess," Diane answered. Even over the phone, Jess imagined that Diane was enjoying this.

"You're having the baby?" Jess queried, excitedly. 

"She's having the baby?" Alex repeated, as Jess shot him a look.

"Yeah, I'm in labour," Diane replied. "I didn't want to ring you at this hour, but Ric insisted that we keep you informed." Jess could tell that Diane was talking in quotation marks, and poking fun at Ric. "I didn't want to wake you up so early," she added.

"I don't mind," Jess bubbled. "Not when it's something like this!"

"Like what?" Alex demanded, but was ignored. "Put the bl**dy thing onto speakerphone!" Jess pushed his hand out of the way, as he reached for the phone by the bedside.

"Is that Alex?" Diane queried. "Oh, by the way, Jess, I'm afraid this means that dinner's off."

"As if we care about that," Jess scoffed. "You just go have a baby!"

"I'll try," Diane giggled, breaking off suddenly. 

"Diane? Diane? Are you still there?" Jess asked, concerned.

Ric's voice came over the phone. "She's just having a contraction…" Diane snatched the phone back. "Will you stop doing that?" Ric asked, pretending to be annoyed.

"I'm back," Diane announced. "We've got to go now, though… we need to go inside."

"Good luck!" Jess replied.

"Good luck!" Alex shouted, trying to get Diane to hear him. 

"Thanks… I might need it," Diane said. "Come and see me later on, yeah? Oh, and Merry Christmas!"

"Of course we'll come… wouldn't miss it for the world!" Jess promised. "Merry Christmas to you too – and Dad," she added, hanging up. "Diane's having the baby," she informed Alex.

"I gathered."

Jess put the phone back. "I'm tired… g'night."

Alex smiled, turning the light out. "'Night."

***~*~***

"Hello," Mubbs said, brightly, pushing open the door to Diane's room.

"Where have you been?" Diane demanded.

Mubbs laughed. "I'm not even meant to be in today, you know. I stopped by to see how you were, out of the goodness of my heart…" Ric snorted with laughter, and Mubbs broke off. "Fine. It just sounded better, you know? Anyway, how are you?"

"Let me see…" Diane began, sarcastically.

"Fine, fine, stupid question," Mubbs interrupted. "Let me see."

Diane pulled away from him. "Are you crazy?"

"Diane, let him do his job," Ric told her.

"You're my friend," Diane told Mubbs. "I'm not letting you… you know…"

"Well, if it's friendship you've got a problem with, I could always fetch Rosie," Mubbs suggested. It was common knowledge that Diane and Rosie were not exactly friendly.

Diane grimaced at him. "Fine." She sighed. "Any idea how much longer this will take?"

"Why? Have you got other plans?" Mubbs queried, smirking.

"No, I'm just getting bored of—ah…" She broke off as another contraction hit her, and Ric squeezed her hand supportively. "Is that meant to help me?" she asked, when she'd recovered.

"It's just a gesture of support," Ric replied.

"If you want to support me, then get painkillers, or – have this baby for me, or something helpful," she retorted. "Squeezing my hand does not help."

"I'd think you've got a few hours to go, yet," Mubbs interrupted. 

"A few hours?" Diane repeated. "Can't you do anything to make it go quicker?"

"Such a well-educated doctor," Ric commented, earning himself a glare from Diane. 

"I'm sorry," Mubbs replied, backing out of the room, because Diane looked as though she was about to throw something at him.

"Wimp!" she called after him. She turned to Ric. "What's the time?"

"Eight o'clock… it's officially morning. I suppose that we should have brought the presents with us," he replied.

"I don't really want to be opening presents in hospital," Diane remarked. "Mind you, I didn't plan on spending Christmas Day in excruciating pain either, so I don't think that I have any control over these things."

"I could go and get them, if you want," Ric offered, standing up. Diane clutched at his hand suddenly.

"Don't go!" she pleaded. Ric sat down again. "I just… don't want to be alone, you know? I'm scared."

"I won't leave if you don't want me to," Ric replied, hugging her. 

***~*~***

"Urgh…" Anita mumbled, rolling over. She opened her eyes slowly, and found herself face to face with Tom. "Ah!" she screeched, sitting up suddenly.

"Morning," Tom replied, brightly. "Merry Christmas," he added, kissing her.

"Shh…" Anita mumbled. "My head… damn alcohol…" 

"I did warn you."

"Warn me? You should've taken the bottle away from me," she moaned. "Wha' time is it?"

Tom looked at the clock. "Nine." He sat up. "Time to get up, I think."

Anita looked at him as though he was crazy. "You are joking, I hope."

"No," he replied. "It's Christmas… you know, presents, merriment, etc?"

"I went through merriment last night. I'm never being merry again," Anita vowed, getting up nevertheless. "Don't mind the idea of presents, though." She pulled on her dressing gown. "You think Josie's up?"

Tom knocked on Josie's door. "Jo? You awake?"

A bleary-eyed Josie looked out. "Uhh…"

Anita smiled sympathetically. "I know how you feel."

"Merry Christmas," Tom commented, as Josie's eyes focused. "Do you want to come downstairs?"

"Christmas…" Josie repeated. "Presents?" 

"Apparently," Anita said, trying desperately not to run back to bed. It was too cold for her liking. "And breakfast."

"No to the breakfast, yes to the presents," Josie replied, heading for the stairs. Anita hurried to catch up with her – she didn't want to be the last one to get to the presents! Tom just stood and watched, smiling. He'd never had a "family" Christmas before. Last Christmas, he'd been drinking, on a road to disaster. This Christmas, he had a daughter and a fiancée, and he was determined never to go back to how he had been. Anita and Josie would never know how much they'd helped him, but as long as they were there, he would be fine. He'd never thought of himself as a family man before, but now he knew that he was. He was just glad that he'd found out before it was too late.

***~*~***

"I'm sick of this." Diane's voice came out of nowhere, waking Ric up. 

"It'll be over soon," he replied, trying to look as though he had not been asleep, and failing miserably.

"I know you were sleeping, Ric," she commented. "You know, the least you could do is be awake. I thought you were trying to be supportive."

"I am." He got up and perched on the side of the bed. "How are you doing?"

"It hurts." She bit her lip, trying not to cry out in pain as a contraction hit. "But I knew that it would hurt."

"You are allowed to show pain, Diane," he told her, putting an arm around her. 

"I don't need to." She smiled. "I'm fine. See?" But the look on her face was vulnerable, and Ric knew that the bravery was only on the surface. 

"Do you want something to numb the pain?" he asked, concerned. It was hard on her, having to spend her Christmas here, doing this.

"What pain?" she queried, pretending to be fine. She didn't like showing that she was suffering – not even to Ric, the person she cared about and trusted the most. 

"Diane, you're not invincible. If it hurts too much, there are things that can be done." He looked her in the eyes. "Are you really alright?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but cried out in pain instead. "Ah!"

"No pain?" Ric teased gently. 

"It's fine, really, Ric," she replied, shaking her head. "Don't fuss."

He nodded, knowing that she needed to deal with this in her own way. Mubbs charged in, purposefully. "Hello, all."

"Hi." Diane looked at him expectantly. "How much longer?"

"Getting tired?" Mubbs queried.

"Bored," she corrected him. "I've been doing this for ten hours. It's nearly eleven o'clock."

"You haven't been here for ten hours," Mubbs replied.

"Oh no, I had to stay at home, because somebody wanted to go back to sleep," she retorted, smiling at Ric. "I'm having a baby and all he cares about is getting some shut-eye. He was sleeping just now as well, you know?"

Mubbs shot Ric a sympathetic look. "Well, it doesn't look like it will be much longer now, anyway," he told Diane. 

She smiled. "That's the best news I've heard all day," she commented to Ric, as Mubbs left.

"Well, it'll be worth all the pain when you're holding the baby," Ric replied.

"I take it you've given birth recently, then?"

Ric laughed. "No. But everyone tells me that that's the case."

Diane paused. "You know what scares me the most?"

"What?"

"Not this… I'm fine with this. And not any part of labour, either. It's scary, but not as scary as the idea of actually having a baby. In a few hours, I'm going to have a baby, a little person, who wants me to do everything for it. It's terrifying."

***~*~***

The phone was ringing. Josie was outside, trying to fit all of the wrapping paper into the bin, and Tom was in the shower. Anita was trying to cook Christmas lunch – she'd never done it before, and she wasn't going to be doing it again. And now the phone was ringing… Anita groaned and, turning the oven down, picked it up. "Hello?"

"Who's that?" was the reply. "I'm calling for Tom Campbell-Gore."

Probably some distant relative who only spoke to him at Christmas, Anita thought wryly. "He can't come to the phone right now. Can I help? Or Josie's in…" she added, hearing Josie clatter into the kitchen, tutting at the state Anita had left it in. Maybe she'd take over the cooking.

"Who are you? Who's Josie?"

"Anita Forbes. His fiancée." She still got a rush each time she said that. "Josie is his daughter."

"His fiancée?" the woman repeated. "His daughter?"

"Who is this?" Anita questioned.

"Emily. I'm Tom's mother." 

"Oh…"

"He never told me that he was engaged," Emily continued. "And since when did he have a daughter?"

"Ah… you should talk to Tom about this…" Anita wasn't sure what to say. 

"No, you're here, you can explain. Since when did my son have a child?"

"He'll call you back," Anita announced, slamming the phone down suddenly. She stalked into the kitchen. 

"What the hell are you trying to do to this bird?" Josie demanded. "Cremate it?"

"It's not my fault," Anita replied. "The phone rang."

"Who was it?" Josie queried, absently, as she fiddled with the oven. "I think this is dead."

"Tom's mother." 

Josie looked up. "I thought his mum was dead."

"She isn't," Anita replied. "And another piece of information – his mother does not know that we exist."

"What?"

"He hasn't told his parents two rather important facts about his life," Anita elaborated. At that point, Tom entered, and Anita whirled around to confront him. "How come your mother doesn't know that Josie and I exist? Are you ashamed of us?" Tom looked blankly at her, and she continued. "Your mother rang. She did not know who I was. She did not know who Josie was. You are about to call her back and explain everything." She handed him the phone. "And then you'll be explaining it to me." She folded her arms and leant back against the counter. "Go on then. Call her."

"Anita…"

"Fine, explain it to me first, then." Her tone made it clear that he couldn't wriggle out of this.

"I'm not close to my parents… I haven't deliberately hidden anything from them… I haven't spoken to them since last Christmas, Anita, it's complicated, and you know that… I'd never lie about you two, I love you…" He blurted out comments as he thought of them. "I'm not ashamed of my girls. I love you, both of you."

Anita had forgiven him the moment he walked through the door, but she wasn't going to let him know that… let him suffer a little longer. She felt Josie nudge her with her foot, and heard the whispered, "don't be mean", but she turned and winked at her. Josie, gulping down laughter, turned back to the oven. Anita gestured to the phone. 

"Ring your mother, then." 

Grumbling under his breath, he dialled, and left the kitchen. He could well imagine that Anita and Josie would listen in, and he didn't really want them to hear what would probably be a very bitter conversation. In a few minutes, he returned. "I wouldn't expect wedding presents," he told Anita. 

"Not go too well?" Josie queried.

"She hung up when I told her that you were twenty-one. I think that she was under the impression that I'd been hiding you for twenty-one years," Tom replied. 

Josie tried to stifle a laugh. "That's not really funny."

"And she also seems to be under the impression that Anita is your mother." This time, Josie did laugh, as did Tom and Anita. When Josie left the room, Tom turned to Anita. "Am I forgiven?"

"Who says I was mad at you in the first place?" she teased. "'Course you're forgiven." She turned to the oven. "Now then, has Josie managed to salvage this cremated turkey?"

He laughed. And, even though their meal was burnt, it was a proper Christmas. Not about the presents and the food, but about love. 

***~*~***

"Something's happening," Diane said, her voice full of panic. Ric was at her side in a moment, taking her hand.

"Are you okay?"

"It feels different… I don't know what's happening!" She was almost hysterical. "Do something!"

"Shall I get Mubbs?" he asked, opening the door, before he remembered the call button. He pressed it a few times in quick succession. "Is this normal?" he asked Diane.

"How do I know? I've never done this before!" She was almost crying. "It hurts…"

Mubbs arrived. "What's happening?"

"You tell us," Ric challenged, as Mubbs began to examine Diane. 

After a few moments, Mubbs nodded. "You're having the baby."

"I wondered why I was in here!" she snapped.

"You're having the baby now. This instant," Mubbs elaborated. "Do you need to push?"

"Yeah… ah…" She bit her lip. "Is there any way at all you can stop this hurting?"

"No," he replied bluntly. "Be quiet, and save your energy." She obeyed. For once, she couldn't be bothered to talk. "Now, when I tell you, I'd like you to push," Mubbs continued. "Okay?" She nodded. "Push." Mubbs looked up. "Okay. I can see the head." After a few seconds, he spoke again. "Right, now push again, yeah?"

"I'm tired…" she mumbled, but did it even so. 

After a few moments, there was an amazing sound. A newborn baby's first cry. The first sign of new life, the sound that Diane had ached to hear for months. Mubbs picked up the baby. "It's a girl. Congratulations, Diane." He wrapped the baby up, and handed her to her mother, after announcing that she weighed nine pounds and three ounces.

"Oh…" Diane whispered, looking at the baby – her baby. Mubbs crept out of the room, sensing that he wasn't wanted. He paused outside the window for a moment, feeling a familiar sensation… jealousy. It was the feeling he got each time he saw new parents cradle their little miracle, and share a meaningful look with one another. The feeling that he was missing out on the most natural, the most wonderful, phenomenon in the world. Love. He wanted that… someone to share his life with. Sighing, he walked away. 

***~*~***

"Diane's got a daughter!" Ric bellowed. 

Kath held the phone away from her ear. "What did you say? Diane's what?"

"Diane – she had a little girl!" Ric replied. "A beautiful little girl."

Kath smiled, and pushed the "speakerphone" button so that Sandy could hear as well. Neither Kath nor Sandy had anyone to spend Christmas with, and so had decided to spend the day together. Both had been having fun, but the announcement that had come at the end of their meal was the finishing touch.

"How's Diane?" Sandy asked.

"She hasn't torn her eyes away from the baby in twenty minutes," Ric laughed. 

"What's the baby like?" Kath queried.

"Big, she's nine pounds three ounces… she's adorable, of course, she's Diane's daughter… she looks just like her mum…" Ric rattled off the facts quickly. He stopped suddenly. "I'm almost out of change."

"Say congratulations to Diane from us!" Sandy bubbled.

"We'll be visiting as soon as we can!" Kath added, as the payphone beeped, indicating that Ric had been cut off. He'd already called Jess and Alex, who, thrilled, had promised to visit later on, and Diane didn't care about anyone else. There was Robbie, Steve's son, whom she'd contacted a few days after finding out she was pregnant. They'd spoken a few times, and he wanted to know all about his new sibling. She'd have to call him – but she wanted to do that herself. Jess and Kath were different.

As Ric re-entered the room where Diane and her daughter were, she looked up. "Hi."

"How are you?" he asked.

"Wonderful," she whispered, a happy note in her voice. "Look at her, Ric. Look. She's not even half-an-hour old yet." The baby was holding her mother's finger, and Diane couldn't tear her eyes away from her baby, who, up until twenty minutes ago, had been inside her. It was almost incomprehensible. Diane was amazed with her daughter. She loved her like she'd never loved anything in the world – like she'd never imagined she could love anything in the world. And she had never been so happy. She didn't care about the pain, about anything… she had her baby. This was what it was all about. 

"Have you got a name for her?" Ric queried, looking at the baby. 

"I was thinking about Olivia," Diane replied. "And I want her surname to be Waring… is that stupid?"

Ric smiled. "It's not stupid at all. Why would you think that?"

"Because, well, three people living in one house, all with different surnames, you know? It's weird." Diane forced herself to look at Ric and not Olivia, and saw him smiling at her. "What?"

"Diane, it wouldn't be three different surnames for long," he replied, softly. 

She looked at him closely. "Are you asking me to marry you?" She hadn't expected this.

He took her free hand in his. This wasn't how he'd planned it. He hadn't planned to propose to her today. But now that she'd worked it out… "If I was," he began, "would you say yes?"

"That depends." She looked down at her hand, held securely in his. It felt safe. She felt Olivia's weight in her other arm. She needed safety now, above everything. She couldn't let anything happen to Olivia. But if she accepted, would she be doing it for Olivia's sake only? She smiled to herself. Thinking about it, the idea of marrying Ric made her feel happy. It felt right. She looked into his eyes. "No. It doesn't depend at all. I'd say yes."

He looked back at her, his expression mirroring the love and happiness he could see in her eyes. "Then… will you marry me?"

For a fleeting moment, Diane remembered how it had felt to be twenty-one, young and scared, and to hear those words. The terror and panic that had forced her to decline, to run away. And then she knew how it was now. She was eight years older, deeply in love, confident that Ric would never, Ric could never, hurt her. It had all been so complicated then. But it was so simple now… Diane loved Ric, and Ric loved Diane. And so, squeezing his hand gently, she whispered her answer.

"Yes."

He didn't have a ring to give her, not at that moment, but he had a whole heart of love to give. And she had nothing to give him but love. But was it only love? For surely love, to the couple who share it, is everything. 

***~*~***

Thinking Over

Dana Glover

I've been searching for reason and I'm running out of time  
I can feel that it's the season  
Time to make up my mind  
  
And I can't really tell ya what I'm gonna do  
There are so many thoughts in my head  
There are two roads to walk down  
And one road to choose  
So I'm thinking over the things that you've said  
I'm thinking over the things  
  
Thinking over, thinking over  
Thinking over the things that you've said  
I'm thinking over, thinking over, thinking over the things  
  
Am I ready for forever   
Oh, God, show me a sign  
Cause if we're to be together  
Then it's got to be divine  
  
And I can't really tell ya what I'm gonna do  
There are so many thoughts in my head  
There are two roads to walk down  
And one road to choose  
So I'm thinking over the things that you've said  
I'm thinking over the things  
  
Thinking over, thinking over  
Thinking over the things that you've said  
I'm thinking over, thinking over, thinking over the things  
  
He wants to marry me, carry me far away  
He wants to love me for life  
He wants to be with me every morning I awake  
He wants to hold me through the night  
  
Father, which way should I go?  
I cannot clearly see  
And, oh, I love him so  
But only you know if he's the one for me  
  
Thinking over, thinking over   
Thinking over the things that you've said  
I'm thinking over, thinking over, thinking over the things  
  
And I can't really tell ya what I'm gonna do  
There are so many thoughts in my head  
There are two roads to walk down  
And one road to choose  
So I'm thinking over the things that you've said  
  
Oh, is this where I wanna be?  
  
Thinking over the things that you said


End file.
